1
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,582
Hi, moms. Stephanie here.
2
00:02:01,583 --> 00:02:04,040
Welcome back to another
"Italian Odyssey" episode
3
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:08,040
of A Pinch of Murder, your one-stop shop
for hot home tips and cold case flips.
4
00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:10,665
I'm really thrilled with
the recent surge in viewers,
5
00:02:10,666 --> 00:02:14,540
even if most of you are just tuning
in to see if I die.
6
00:02:14,541 --> 00:02:16,207
Um, still on
7
00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:18,874
the romantic island of Capri,
8
00:02:18,875 --> 00:02:21,582
uh, frankly wishing I knew
9
00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:24,499
even un poco italiano
right about now,
10
00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:27,124
'cause it might help
with the police.
11
00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:30,124
In hindsight, you know, Babbel
would've been a good choice.
12
00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:34,290
By the way, use code word "Hi,
moms" for 20% off at Babbel.
13
00:02:34,291 --> 00:02:35,374
Thanks, guys.
14
00:02:35,375 --> 00:02:38,707
Um, anyway, since I'm
under house arrest now,
15
00:02:38,708 --> 00:02:41,249
a lot of you have been
asking why I would put myself
16
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:43,874
in this situation
in the first place.
17
00:02:43,875 --> 00:02:45,790
Which is pretty rich,
'cause, you know,
18
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,790
you were all singing a
different tune a few days ago.
19
00:02:48,791 --> 00:02:51,457
But I want to be clear.
20
00:02:51,458 --> 00:02:54,540
I did not kill Emily's husband.
21
00:02:55,625 --> 00:02:56,915
Jesus!
22
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,957
Okay, um...
23
00:03:04,958 --> 00:03:07,332
for those of you who
are just joining us...
24
00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:11,207
...let me fill you in
on how we got here.
25
00:03:11,208 --> 00:03:14,874
A few days ago, I was running late
for, uh, my reading at the Book Nook,
26
00:03:14,875 --> 00:03:18,082
and I was packing Miles up for
camp, and I was pretty flustered
27
00:03:18,083 --> 00:03:20,540
'cause my Smooch is gonna be
gone for a few weeks and...
28
00:03:20,541 --> 00:03:23,165
Mom, are
you kidding me?!
29
00:03:23,166 --> 00:03:25,499
You monogrammed my camp shirts.
30
00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,707
Everyone's gonna laugh at me.
31
00:03:26,708 --> 00:03:28,374
Well, this is way
cooler than a name tag.
32
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,874
I'll bet the other kids
are gonna be jealous.
33
00:03:29,875 --> 00:03:32,332
Don't be mad, Smooch.
34
00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:34,165
I don't want to fight in our
last few moments together.
35
00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:35,499
You don't care about
embarrassing me?
36
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,582
You monogram my shirts,
you call me Smooch,
37
00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:42,374
and the kids at school said that your
stupid show got that creepy guy killed.
38
00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:51,957
Okay.
39
00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:53,624
Miles. Miles.
40
00:03:53,625 --> 00:03:55,624
You're right. I'm sorry, okay?
41
00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:58,249
You have a mother that listens and
who doesn't do that show anymore.
42
00:03:58,250 --> 00:04:00,749
Will you grab your swimsuit, 'cause I
have to be at the reading by 3:00, okay?
43
00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:03,290
Everyone knows you're
obsessed with Nicky's mom.
44
00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:05,582
Why'd you have to write a book about it?
45
00:04:05,583 --> 00:04:08,165
The other kids tease me, and they say
you tried to Single White Female her.
46
00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:10,415
Okay, she ensnared me for...
47
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,624
Your friends have seen
Single White Female?
48
00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:12,624
That's a very adult film.
49
00:04:12,625 --> 00:04:14,707
God, you're a stalker!
50
00:04:20,541 --> 00:04:23,124
I don't want any
phone calls about you biting.
51
00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:26,285
Remember, if you can't be smart, be funny,
and if you can't be funny, be pretty.
52
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:28,582
Okay, this is dramatic.
53
00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:30,624
I know you're lashing out
because you're worried about
54
00:04:30,625 --> 00:04:31,915
being away for an entire month.
55
00:04:31,916 --> 00:04:33,290
I need a restraining order.
56
00:04:33,291 --> 00:04:36,207
That's very big
boy legal language.
57
00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:38,957
Oh, come on. I think that, yes,
this time apart might be healthy...
58
00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:40,957
- For the both of us, I know.
- Okay.
59
00:04:40,958 --> 00:04:43,165
Stephanie Smothers, are you
helicopter parenting again?
60
00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:45,040
- No, Darren, I'm not.
- Yes, Darren, she is.
61
00:04:45,041 --> 00:04:46,124
I've got this.
62
00:04:46,125 --> 00:04:47,999
Young lady, please
don't get pregnant.
63
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,332
Young man, don't
get anyone pregnant.
64
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:50,415
- Thanks, Darren.
- You're welcome.
65
00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:52,457
Geez, Dad, cringy.
66
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,874
Aho! That's Lakota for "hello."
67
00:04:54,875 --> 00:04:56,790
Sounds more like
cultural appropriation.
68
00:04:56,791 --> 00:04:58,999
Super. I don't really get
you yet, but I will, okay?
69
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,207
Campers, let's hop on the bus.
70
00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:02,040
- Okay. Bye-bye.
- Do you want to...
71
00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:03,165
- Yeah.
- I love you, too.
72
00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:04,165
Mm-hmm.
73
00:05:04,166 --> 00:05:05,457
- Okay.
- Best of luck.
74
00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:07,165
Skin cancer is real.
Please wear sunscreen.
75
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:08,249
Call me anytime!
76
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:10,207
Ooh. No calls in
or out. Camp rule.
77
00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:11,499
- Even better.
- That's cool.
78
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,624
Go to your assigned bus!
79
00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:15,624
We're gonna have the
best time of your lives!
80
00:05:17,041 --> 00:05:18,749
No crying.
81
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:21,124
It'll make your eyes red, and we don't
want people to think you're smoking pot.
82
00:05:21,125 --> 00:05:23,165
Although maybe we do. It
might be good for your brand.
83
00:05:23,166 --> 00:05:25,707
- What's wrong with my brand?
- You haven't posted a video in months,
84
00:05:25,708 --> 00:05:27,249
and you have a book coming out.
85
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:28,332
It hasn't been months.
86
00:05:28,333 --> 00:05:30,457
It's been two months
and three weeks.
87
00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:32,290
Look, I know you went
through quite a shock,
88
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:34,290
but it's time to spring back.
89
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:35,957
The moms of the world miss you.
90
00:05:35,958 --> 00:05:37,040
I wrote a book.
91
00:05:37,041 --> 00:05:38,832
You did, so let's get
you to your reading
92
00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:40,499
and sell a shitload of
those, Stephanie Smothers.
93
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:42,040
Okay. All right, all right.
94
00:05:45,958 --> 00:05:48,082
Why'd she
take her channel down?
95
00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:49,124
Was it tanking?
96
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:50,749
No, no, no, no. The
numbers were good.
97
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,540
- Mm.
- Oh, too much pressure.
98
00:05:52,541 --> 00:05:53,915
Brilliant strategy:
99
00:05:53,916 --> 00:05:56,415
disappear from the Internet
right before you release a book.
100
00:05:56,416 --> 00:05:58,540
Look, I tried to help,
101
00:05:58,541 --> 00:06:00,249
but there's only
so much I can do.
102
00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:01,832
She's-she's tragic.
103
00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:04,208
This picture is tragic.
104
00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:08,665
So, I'm lobbying for a
continuation of the tour,
105
00:06:08,666 --> 00:06:10,374
but it's a
chicken-or-the-egg problem.
106
00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:12,499
You need to sell more
books to justify the tour,
107
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,832
but you sell more books on tour.
108
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,165
Is the world stupid
or am I a genius?
109
00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:17,457
- Ben! Hi! You made it!
- Hey.
110
00:06:17,458 --> 00:06:19,624
Hey, uh, listen, so
something happened today,
111
00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:21,332
- something you need to know about, so...
- Oh, well, look.
112
00:06:21,333 --> 00:06:23,624
I know you didn't want to read the book in
advance, which is totally, totally fine,
113
00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:25,332
but, uh, you know,
you're in it a lot,
114
00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:26,915
- and I think I did, like, a good job of...
- O-Okay, St-Stephanie, listen.
115
00:06:26,916 --> 00:06:28,290
...yeah, like, painting a
kind of nuanced portrait...
116
00:06:28,291 --> 00:06:29,374
- Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie.
- Yeah.
117
00:06:29,375 --> 00:06:30,624
- Sorry to pull you away.
- Oh, my God!
118
00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:31,707
- Just...
- Everyone,
119
00:06:31,708 --> 00:06:34,957
please help me
welcome full-time mom,
120
00:06:34,958 --> 00:06:38,707
part-time cold case sleuth
and breakout true crime writer
121
00:06:38,708 --> 00:06:40,125
Stephanie Smothers.
122
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:42,540
Yeah.
123
00:06:42,541 --> 00:06:44,249
Hi.
124
00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:46,249
Hi, everybody. Uh, thanks for coming.
125
00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:49,040
As most of you know, the
case of the McLanden sisters,
126
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:53,707
of what Emily, aka Hope
McLanden, did to her sister Faith
127
00:06:53,708 --> 00:06:55,915
was the biggest thing that happened
in Warfield since the police
128
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,875
busted that meth lab that was
running out of the senior center.
129
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,082
Um, so I wrote this book
because, uh, the killer was
130
00:07:02,083 --> 00:07:05,040
a mom at our school and
a good friend of mine,
131
00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:08,082
and in a way, we
were all her victims.
132
00:07:08,083 --> 00:07:10,332
"I think about her all the time,
133
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:12,665
the faceless blonde
I thought I knew,
134
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:15,249
no photos, no past, a ghost.
135
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,124
Was she a glamorous PR executive
136
00:07:17,125 --> 00:07:18,749
or a cold-blooded killer?"
137
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,249
I'm sorry, the
reading's started.
138
00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:22,290
"I think about her
husband Sean, broken..."
139
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:23,957
You-you
can't go in there.
140
00:07:23,958 --> 00:07:25,874
"...and her son Nicky
growing up without a mother."
141
00:07:25,875 --> 00:07:27,915
Hey.
142
00:07:27,916 --> 00:07:30,790
"I think about the small
role that I played in that...
143
00:07:30,791 --> 00:07:34,249
sad... destiny."
144
00:07:45,458 --> 00:07:46,707
Boo.
145
00:07:49,750 --> 00:07:50,791
Is that...?
146
00:07:51,541 --> 00:07:53,207
The cold-blooded killer.
147
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:54,249
Emily.
148
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:56,249
Holy shit.
149
00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:58,957
Everyone, this is Emily,
150
00:07:58,958 --> 00:08:00,999
the real-life faceless blonde.
151
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,999
Except apparently
I do have a face.
152
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,415
And you're here.
How are you here?
153
00:08:05,416 --> 00:08:06,832
Did you break out of prison?
154
00:08:06,833 --> 00:08:09,582
No, I'm out on appeal. Our
legal system is so fucked.
155
00:08:09,583 --> 00:08:11,249
Baby, I want to talk
about the important stuff.
156
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:12,540
Why isn't your book selling?
157
00:08:12,541 --> 00:08:14,499
- It's selling.
- Mm, it's not.
158
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:17,457
I feel like... I feel like you
left out all the good stuff.
159
00:08:17,458 --> 00:08:19,665
Remind me, what happened
with your brother again?
160
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,666
I tried to tell you. I tried.
161
00:08:22,708 --> 00:08:23,790
Oh, hi.
162
00:08:23,791 --> 00:08:25,415
Hi. Lovely to see
you, Detective.
163
00:08:25,416 --> 00:08:26,415
Hmm.
164
00:08:26,416 --> 00:08:28,499
You'll be getting
a subpoena soon.
165
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,082
I have these excellent
new attorneys,
166
00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:33,457
and they found possible
evidence tampering in my case.
167
00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:34,832
Hello, Darren.
168
00:08:34,833 --> 00:08:36,415
Terrible shoes.
169
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,790
Sorry I hit you with my car.
170
00:08:37,791 --> 00:08:40,332
Oh, shit.
Forgot about that.
171
00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:42,082
Emily, why are you here?
172
00:08:42,083 --> 00:08:44,000
You came for vengeance
in a suburban bookstore?
173
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:47,249
Stephanie, please.
You're my best friend.
174
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:50,207
I mean, you lit my fucking
life on fire, but you saved me.
175
00:08:50,208 --> 00:08:51,499
You gave me a clean slate.
176
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,665
That's why I'm gonna
spend the rest of my life
177
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:55,582
trying to find
ways to thank you.
178
00:08:55,583 --> 00:08:58,249
That's the most terrifying
thing she's said yet.
179
00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:00,082
Okay, that's complete bullshit.
180
00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:01,415
It's true.
181
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:02,832
Thanks to you, I'm
getting married.
182
00:09:04,416 --> 00:09:05,540
How did that happen?
183
00:09:05,541 --> 00:09:07,665
Oh, you know, the good
old-fashioned way.
184
00:09:07,666 --> 00:09:10,415
- Bathroom sex?
- No one knows me like you do.
185
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:12,874
Which is why I, um...
186
00:09:12,875 --> 00:09:15,624
which is why I came to ask
you something.
187
00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:18,499
Uh, Stephanie Smothers,
will you, uh...
188
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:21,040
Oh. Will you be
my maid of honor?
189
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:23,790
Oh, she's definitely
fucking with you.
190
00:09:23,791 --> 00:09:27,082
It's a trick. She's gonna
get you alone and kill you.
191
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:28,165
Poison you or stab you.
192
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,749
She's gonna make it
look like a suicide.
193
00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:31,374
- I'm aware of that.
- Holy fuck.
194
00:09:31,375 --> 00:09:34,000
Is it maybe just a little bit
possible that I've changed?
195
00:09:34,958 --> 00:09:36,165
No.
196
00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:37,582
Stephanie, baby,
please, come on.
197
00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:38,999
Don't do this. I
hate when we fight.
198
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,249
- Come... No, no, no.
- Get away from me.
199
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,624
I-I was the best thing
that ever happened to you.
200
00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,915
We both know it. You-you
stopped apologizing.
201
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,124
You fucked my husband.
202
00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:47,082
He was such a crotch rot.
Thank you for that, by the way.
203
00:09:47,083 --> 00:09:50,832
You wrote a book based on me, and
you built an entirely new life.
204
00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:52,374
Like, why am I
having to beg you?
205
00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:54,332
- You owe me.
- The fuck I do.
206
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:55,624
Mm, you do.
207
00:09:55,625 --> 00:09:58,207
Okay, let's agree to
disagree. You need me.
208
00:09:58,208 --> 00:10:00,957
You're gonna watch your
sales and your followers soar
209
00:10:00,958 --> 00:10:02,999
as you maid-of-honor the
shit out of the woman
210
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,916
who tried to murder you at
the wedding of the decade.
211
00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:09,207
Did I mention it was in Capri?
212
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,540
Capri?
213
00:10:10,541 --> 00:10:11,665
Yes, she is in.
214
00:10:11,666 --> 00:10:13,207
We're all in. Thank you.
215
00:10:13,208 --> 00:10:14,790
You can't just come in here
and bulldoze me, Emily.
216
00:10:14,791 --> 00:10:16,249
I'm not as nice as I used to be.
217
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,124
Oh, sweetie, you
were never nice.
218
00:10:18,125 --> 00:10:19,457
You were just afraid to be mean.
219
00:10:19,458 --> 00:10:21,040
Okay, then I'm less afraid.
220
00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:22,957
Perfect, then prove it.
221
00:10:22,958 --> 00:10:26,791
And if I do try to murder you,
it'll make an amazing sequel.
222
00:10:27,458 --> 00:10:30,665
Okay, I'll see you 9:00 a.m. Wednesday
on my fiancé's private plane.
223
00:10:30,666 --> 00:10:32,124
Oh, and if you don't come,
224
00:10:32,125 --> 00:10:36,415
I'm gonna have to sue you into
oblivion for using my name and likeness
225
00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:38,624
without my express
written consent.
226
00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:40,165
Don't try me, Bubba.
227
00:10:40,166 --> 00:10:42,874
Love you so much.
228
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:44,457
- Can she sue me?
- Plausibly.
229
00:10:44,458 --> 00:10:46,374
Yeah, lawsuits can
be a real killer.
230
00:10:46,375 --> 00:10:48,374
You shouldn't risk
it. Just go to Capri.
231
00:10:48,375 --> 00:10:49,791
Shut up, Darren.
232
00:10:52,375 --> 00:10:53,707
You know,
Emily is right.
233
00:10:53,708 --> 00:10:55,124
The book needs a boost.
234
00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:57,332
- And that sequel thing...
- The sequel where I'm murdered?
235
00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:59,499
- Uh...
- Hi. Are you gonna start
236
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,540
doing your show again
now that you can follow
237
00:11:01,541 --> 00:11:03,207
the faceless blonde
on another adventure?
238
00:11:03,208 --> 00:11:04,874
Follow? I...
239
00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:06,832
She's the one who can't leave
me alone. It doesn't matter.
240
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,249
Oh, yeah, yeah, totally.
241
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,540
So please sign it, "To Bernice,"
242
00:11:09,541 --> 00:11:12,833
and can you date the signature just
in case you don't make it back?
243
00:11:14,791 --> 00:11:16,874
I don't think we need
to... to do that, no.
244
00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:21,749
What is Emily up to?
This is so crazy.
245
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:23,165
And crazy sells books!
246
00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:25,457
Do you think Hunter S. Thompson
would turn down this opportunity?
247
00:11:25,458 --> 00:11:28,499
Hunter S. Thompson was addicted to cocaine
and did not have a ten-year-old son.
248
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:29,999
I get it. I'm sorry.
249
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,832
It's just the
boxed wine talking.
250
00:11:31,833 --> 00:11:33,457
You know what? Take
care of yourself.
251
00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:35,666
Don't worry about true
crime. Write a cookbook.
252
00:11:46,333 --> 00:11:47,374
I hit up all my sources.
253
00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:49,832
No one knows anything
about this fiancé of hers.
254
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:52,415
Summerville said that, this morning, a
team of high-powered lawyers showed up,
255
00:11:52,416 --> 00:11:54,374
and an hour later, Emily
walked out of prison.
256
00:11:54,375 --> 00:11:56,415
I went down to the courthouse,
and I checked the court records.
257
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,832
There's no indication
of who hired them.
258
00:11:57,833 --> 00:11:59,332
She's definitely
up to something.
259
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:02,915
She's just gonna be up to it in
the most gorgeous place on Earth.
260
00:12:02,916 --> 00:12:04,749
Yeah, but what does she
want to do to me there?
261
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:07,990
I mean, she wants me there for a reason.
I don't think it's to be a maid of honor.
262
00:12:08,958 --> 00:12:12,540
Maybe she really did
change in prison?
263
00:12:12,541 --> 00:12:14,832
I mean, marrying
somebody with enough money
264
00:12:14,833 --> 00:12:16,999
to have a private jet
and get you out of jail?
265
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,207
I mean, that could definitely
normal you the fuck out.
266
00:12:19,208 --> 00:12:20,583
No, no, no. I don't buy it.
267
00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:25,082
Well, since you're too busy
building a murder board in your head
268
00:12:25,083 --> 00:12:26,999
to check your feed...
269
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,999
Holy
shit, 42,000 likes?
270
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,665
Yeah, and that's just one of the many
videos of your showdown at your reading.
271
00:12:36,958 --> 00:12:38,625
Stephanie?
272
00:12:39,916 --> 00:12:41,596
You'll forgive me if
I'm a little paranoid.
273
00:12:42,875 --> 00:12:44,124
God.
274
00:12:44,125 --> 00:12:46,208
Got to figure out
what she's up to.
275
00:12:46,875 --> 00:12:47,958
So?
276
00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:51,041
Are you gonna go?
277
00:13:01,166 --> 00:13:04,457
♪ You don't own me ♪
278
00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:08,540
♪ I'm not just one
of your many toys ♪
279
00:13:08,541 --> 00:13:12,124
♪ You don't own me ♪
280
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:18,374
♪ Don't say I can't
go with other boys ♪
281
00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:22,499
♪ And don't tell me what to do ♪
282
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:26,582
♪ Don't tell me what to say...
283
00:13:26,583 --> 00:13:27,832
This is nice.
284
00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:29,415
Your tits are nice.
285
00:13:29,416 --> 00:13:30,874
Come on. We're late.
286
00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:33,041
Sorry, Vicky had to
pick up some stuff.
287
00:13:34,083 --> 00:13:35,999
- That's the toiletries.
- Yes, ma'am.
288
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,749
Uh-huh. Okay, yeah.
289
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,582
You brought your fucking
assistant to my wedding?
290
00:13:39,583 --> 00:13:41,124
She's my book agent.
291
00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:42,832
And she's an insurance policy.
292
00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:44,332
Oh.
293
00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:46,499
'Cause I won't kill you both?
294
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:49,291
You're cute.
295
00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:51,040
Hi, moms.
296
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:52,832
Stephanie here, on the way
297
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,249
to the faceless
blonde's Capri wedding.
298
00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:57,874
I think I'm probably
gonna take a long nap.
299
00:13:57,875 --> 00:13:59,707
I'm just gonna curl up,
and I'll see you guys...
300
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:02,332
Oh, perfect.
301
00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:03,707
Ma'am, no filming on board.
302
00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:05,374
It violates the
passengers' privacy.
303
00:14:05,375 --> 00:14:06,874
Oh, sorry.
304
00:14:06,875 --> 00:14:08,790
I-I didn't realize there
would be so many people.
305
00:14:08,791 --> 00:14:11,290
Thought my carbon footprint
would be a little higher.
306
00:14:11,291 --> 00:14:12,625
Makes me feel more glamorous.
307
00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:16,082
You got it.
308
00:14:16,083 --> 00:14:17,499
All gone.
309
00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:29,832
Oh, my God, this flight
is full of A-list.
310
00:14:29,833 --> 00:14:31,207
Who the hell is Emily marrying?
311
00:14:31,208 --> 00:14:33,207
I don't know, but I want one.
312
00:14:33,208 --> 00:14:35,457
Listen, I know how this sounds,
313
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,707
but murdering her sister
really upped Emily's game.
314
00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:38,874
Do you know how that sounds?
315
00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:40,374
This kind of glamour
and intrigue is
316
00:14:40,375 --> 00:14:42,415
exactly why we're here, so
we should be live streaming.
317
00:14:42,416 --> 00:14:43,624
They won't let me use my phone.
318
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:45,207
Oh, then start
secretly banking stuff,
319
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:47,624
and use this
into-the-lion's-den scenario
320
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:50,165
as a way to get you
another book deal.
321
00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:51,707
Time to get eaten by the lion.
322
00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:53,833
Mm-hmm.
323
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:56,999
Hey, are you friends
with Emily's fiancé?
324
00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,333
The toilet's clogged, and
my seat won't recline... 3A.
325
00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:03,250
I don't work here, but...
326
00:15:11,916 --> 00:15:13,000
No photography.
327
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,249
As I believe we discussed.
328
00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:17,040
Oh, sure, but, you know,
329
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,250
how much privacy does
leaded crystal really need?
330
00:15:21,166 --> 00:15:22,833
Okay. It's going in my pocket.
331
00:15:30,583 --> 00:15:32,124
You're so funny.
332
00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:34,250
Looks like
you could use this.
333
00:15:36,791 --> 00:15:38,457
It's 10:00 a.m.
334
00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:40,208
Not in Capri.
335
00:15:43,666 --> 00:15:45,415
Jesus Christ.
336
00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:46,999
This again? I'm not
gonna poison you.
337
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,499
It's not my style.
338
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,874
You have the duration of this
flight to chill the fuck out.
339
00:15:50,875 --> 00:15:52,665
I want you goddamn
sparkling when we land.
340
00:15:52,666 --> 00:15:53,790
Do you hear me?
341
00:15:53,791 --> 00:15:55,665
This is really
fucking weird, man.
342
00:15:55,666 --> 00:15:57,249
Mm, yeah, I know.
343
00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:58,790
Just go with it.
344
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,290
You excited for my
bachelorette party?
345
00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:02,624
Oh, yeah. These
guys seem awesome.
346
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:05,624
Yeah, they're kind of the worst.
347
00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:06,707
They're his family's friends.
348
00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:08,415
Oh, God, wait till you
meet the cunt-in-law.
349
00:16:08,416 --> 00:16:09,665
Oopsie.
350
00:16:09,666 --> 00:16:11,999
Hmm. I missed you.
351
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,165
Want to get out of here?
352
00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:14,290
Where? The luggage compartment?
353
00:16:14,291 --> 00:16:15,958
Come on, baby girl.
354
00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:21,082
Wow. Classy.
355
00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:22,915
Did you get me a
stripper? Is it you?
356
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:24,457
Oh, you wish.
357
00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:25,832
It's his family's style.
358
00:16:25,833 --> 00:16:27,999
They swing money around
like a baseball bat.
359
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,832
- Sure.
- Lucky me.
360
00:16:29,833 --> 00:16:31,208
Who's the lucky guy?
361
00:16:32,041 --> 00:16:34,416
- DV?
- What, are you writing a book?
362
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:36,582
His name's Dante Versano.
363
00:16:36,583 --> 00:16:39,582
Old money, but, you know,
cute enough to fuck eyes open.
364
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,415
Total alpha male, like me.
365
00:16:41,416 --> 00:16:43,207
Not a little snatch like Sean.
366
00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:46,249
Do you know Sean never took Nicky
to visit me in jail, not once?
367
00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:47,707
I haven't seen my
kid in five years.
368
00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:49,082
Maybe he thought
it was dangerous.
369
00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:51,957
It's jail. The bad guys
are already locked up.
370
00:16:51,958 --> 00:16:53,040
Wait, I'm sorry.
371
00:16:53,041 --> 00:16:55,165
Are you defending him?
372
00:16:55,166 --> 00:16:58,332
'Cause he wasn't exactly a dream
date for you, either, husband-fucker.
373
00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,582
Good one. You got me.
374
00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:01,958
Oh, how'd you meet Dante?
375
00:17:02,708 --> 00:17:05,707
I moved to Rome for a
minute when I was in my 20s.
376
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:07,415
I was totally broke
but in heaven.
377
00:17:07,416 --> 00:17:11,832
It was all so big and
dangerous and cunty and chic.
378
00:17:11,833 --> 00:17:13,332
Rome, not my job.
379
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,499
My job was just at a dive bar,
but that's where I met Dante.
380
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,540
He was just... oh,
he was gorgeous
381
00:17:18,541 --> 00:17:20,332
and... and so sweet.
382
00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:23,082
And we struck up
a real connection,
383
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,833
and he taught me Italian.
384
00:17:25,708 --> 00:17:27,665
You know? In all the ways.
385
00:17:27,666 --> 00:17:30,207
Everyone was talking about
us, even the local press.
386
00:17:30,208 --> 00:17:31,832
I was calling myself
Olivia back then.
387
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,624
Bathroom, 20 seconds.
388
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:34,957
Knock twice.
389
00:17:34,958 --> 00:17:37,832
You know, obviously all that
attention spooked me, so...
390
00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:39,832
I had to leave town, and...
391
00:17:39,833 --> 00:17:43,790
yeah, I just, I don't know,
wrote it off as a, as a tryst.
392
00:17:43,791 --> 00:17:44,999
I thought he forgot about it.
393
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,582
This guy, I mean, he could have...
he could have anyone, but alas.
394
00:17:49,583 --> 00:17:51,374
So you reconnected
after all these years,
395
00:17:51,375 --> 00:17:52,874
told him your real name...
your new real name...
396
00:17:52,875 --> 00:17:55,457
and he took you back even
though you were in jail.
397
00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:57,457
Yeah, I mean, I do
kind of owe you.
398
00:17:57,458 --> 00:17:59,374
He saw me on the
news, thanks to you.
399
00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:02,290
Tracked me down, and we picked
up like no time was lost.
400
00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:03,665
Who knows? Play
your cards right,
401
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,749
I might end up dead again and
you can fuck this one, too.
402
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:07,624
Aw, you having fun?
403
00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:09,665
I mean, this is why you brought
me, right? Keep 'em coming.
404
00:18:09,666 --> 00:18:10,874
Oh, lighten up.
405
00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:12,749
I am busting your balls.
406
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:13,832
You need to get laid.
407
00:18:13,833 --> 00:18:15,582
Jesus, I get laid plenty.
408
00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:17,749
Oh. Do you?
409
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:19,415
Do tell.
410
00:18:19,416 --> 00:18:21,790
Look who started getting nasty
after I went to the slammer.
411
00:18:21,791 --> 00:18:24,583
And look who's willing to do
whatever it takes not to go back.
412
00:18:30,833 --> 00:18:33,082
You think I'm not really in love
413
00:18:33,083 --> 00:18:34,958
or you think no
one could love me?
414
00:18:35,833 --> 00:18:39,749
That's not what I said, but...
415
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:40,958
it's telling.
416
00:18:42,916 --> 00:18:44,165
Why am I here?
417
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,832
You think I invited
you to get revenge?
418
00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:50,707
For stealing my life and
taking my kid away from me?
419
00:18:50,708 --> 00:18:52,624
You think I want
to make you pay?
420
00:18:52,625 --> 00:18:54,666
I don't know. Do you?
421
00:18:56,791 --> 00:18:59,083
I don't think so.
422
00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:36,275
- Morning, babe.
- Oh, I missed you.
423
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:37,915
Miss you so much.
424
00:19:37,916 --> 00:19:39,499
Oh, I missed you more. Let's go.
425
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,790
- How was the trip?
- Let's go. So good.
426
00:19:40,791 --> 00:19:42,332
- Oh, no, no, you have to meet her first.
- Oh. Who?
427
00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:44,790
- Hi.
- Oh. Oh, this must be the maid of honor.
428
00:19:44,791 --> 00:19:46,124
- Ah.
- What a lovely creature.
429
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:47,707
Oh. Yes, I'm Stephanie.
430
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,665
Oh, I told you he
lays it on thick.
431
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:50,790
Does he have a brother?
432
00:19:50,791 --> 00:19:52,290
Why? Are you into
fucking brothers?
433
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:55,165
Sadly, I'm an only child.
434
00:19:55,166 --> 00:19:56,499
Oh, that's too bad.
435
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:59,415
That's just a... we've
got a... She's so funny.
436
00:19:59,416 --> 00:20:01,999
- She's funny, huh?
- How is the monster-in-law?
437
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,582
- Very excited for the wedding.
- Uh-huh.
438
00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:05,624
She said she has a
surprise for you.
439
00:20:05,625 --> 00:20:07,124
It's your day.
440
00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:09,749
- I won't let anything ruin it, baby.
- Okay.
441
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:13,124
Can somebody help
me with my fucking bags?!
442
00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:15,249
Okay.
443
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:17,082
I should just jump
in one of these cars?
444
00:21:43,125 --> 00:21:46,333
Asshole!
What the fuck are you doing?
445
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:51,207
Excuse me. I didn't
recognize you.
446
00:21:51,208 --> 00:21:52,957
I'm sorry. I will
move immediately.
447
00:21:52,958 --> 00:21:54,250
Stupid fuck.
448
00:21:55,416 --> 00:21:56,540
I'm so sorry, ladies.
449
00:21:56,541 --> 00:21:58,707
I-I hope that didn't cause
you too much distress.
450
00:21:58,708 --> 00:22:00,165
We're fine. Thank you.
451
00:22:00,166 --> 00:22:01,374
No.
452
00:22:01,375 --> 00:22:03,040
Well, welcome to Italy.
453
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,250
Who is this guy?
454
00:22:18,625 --> 00:22:20,165
For God's sake. Nicky!
455
00:22:20,166 --> 00:22:21,624
Can you cut it out
with the drone, please?
456
00:22:21,625 --> 00:22:23,624
You're gonna give me a brain
aneurysm over here or something.
457
00:22:23,625 --> 00:22:25,207
I can put it on stealth mode.
458
00:22:25,208 --> 00:22:28,082
- Well, why do you have to run it at all?
- I'm looking for Mom.
459
00:22:28,083 --> 00:22:30,957
You don't need a drone
to find your mom, okay?
460
00:22:30,958 --> 00:22:33,083
Just follow the
trail of destruction.
461
00:22:35,250 --> 00:22:36,874
Oh. Hey, Nicky, Nicky!
462
00:22:36,875 --> 00:22:37,999
Mom!
463
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,790
My baby!
464
00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:41,915
Oh, look how big you are.
465
00:22:41,916 --> 00:22:43,832
You got so big and red.
466
00:22:43,833 --> 00:22:45,040
Oh, my God. This is my boy.
467
00:22:45,041 --> 00:22:46,249
- Hey, what's up?
- This is Nicky.
468
00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:48,790
- I hate that I missed a moment.
- Me, too.
469
00:22:48,791 --> 00:22:50,790
Your being in prison gave
me street cred at school,
470
00:22:50,791 --> 00:22:52,332
and my friends loved
reading your letters.
471
00:22:52,333 --> 00:22:54,749
Yeah, and they got you
expelled, didn't they?
472
00:22:54,750 --> 00:22:56,749
- Three schools in two years.
- We're just gonna
473
00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:59,290
have to find him a school without
a stick up its ass, huh, Bubba?
474
00:22:59,291 --> 00:23:00,374
Stephanie?
475
00:23:00,375 --> 00:23:01,915
Hello, sir.
476
00:23:01,916 --> 00:23:02,957
What are you...
477
00:23:02,958 --> 00:23:05,040
Oh, God, I'm so sorry. I forgot.
478
00:23:05,041 --> 00:23:06,332
- Stephanie's coming.
- Right.
479
00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:07,457
Hey, do you remember
Stephanie, baby?
480
00:23:07,458 --> 00:23:08,790
Yeah, Dad fucked her.
481
00:23:08,791 --> 00:23:10,165
- Mm! Mm.
- Where did you learn
482
00:23:10,166 --> 00:23:12,915
- language like that, sir?
- Jesus.
483
00:23:12,916 --> 00:23:16,290
Nicky, I just want to say I'm so
sorry about everything that happened.
484
00:23:16,291 --> 00:23:17,957
{\an8}Oh, no, don't-don't... don't be.
485
00:23:17,958 --> 00:23:21,332
{\an8}I mean, you weren't an asshole
like my dad or anything.
486
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:22,999
Asshole dad.
487
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,582
- Yep.
- Yep.
488
00:23:24,583 --> 00:23:26,249
And Miles is pretty cool, too.
489
00:23:26,250 --> 00:23:27,999
I know Miles misses you a lot.
490
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,665
{\an8}Me, too.
491
00:23:29,666 --> 00:23:31,540
{\an8}I mean, things just
got fucked, so...
492
00:23:31,541 --> 00:23:32,624
- Jesus Christ.
- Okay.
493
00:23:32,625 --> 00:23:34,207
- Oh, wow.
- You know, I try with the swearing,
494
00:23:34,208 --> 00:23:36,457
but what's the fucking
point these days?
495
00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:39,249
- Can you not be day drunk around my kid?
- Day drunk?
496
00:23:39,250 --> 00:23:40,499
Yeah, it might help if
you sober up a little.
497
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:41,957
You're judging me, are you?
498
00:23:41,958 --> 00:23:45,124
We're all here because of you and
your fucking wedding or whatever...
499
00:23:45,125 --> 00:23:47,540
My love, Dante, this
is my baby mama Sean.
500
00:23:47,541 --> 00:23:49,665
- Oh, yeah. Hey, it's the one.
- Uh-huh, yeah.
501
00:23:49,666 --> 00:23:50,749
Yeah, yeah.
502
00:23:50,750 --> 00:23:53,457
Hi. It means a great
deal that you're here.
503
00:23:53,458 --> 00:23:57,374
Oh. I mean, the courts ordered me
to drag my son across an ocean,
504
00:23:57,375 --> 00:24:01,833
so you must be paying your lawyers
an awful amount, because we're here.
505
00:24:02,791 --> 00:24:04,165
Yeah.
506
00:24:04,166 --> 00:24:07,124
I'm still glad that you're
here to celebrate our marriage.
507
00:24:07,125 --> 00:24:09,082
- Well, "celebrate" is...
- Oh, yeah.
508
00:24:09,083 --> 00:24:12,374
...quite the strong word, because
I would rather shave my balls
509
00:24:12,375 --> 00:24:14,540
with a rusty knife than
be at this wedding.
510
00:24:14,541 --> 00:24:16,082
- Oh, let me do that for you.
- Yeah?
511
00:24:16,083 --> 00:24:17,124
- Please.
- Yeah.
512
00:24:17,125 --> 00:24:18,790
But you know what?
513
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,665
Here we are.
514
00:24:20,666 --> 00:24:22,875
Anyway, it's your funeral, pal.
515
00:24:24,416 --> 00:24:25,790
I'm off to the pool.
516
00:24:25,791 --> 00:24:27,832
I'm gonna go find
somebody I haven't fucked.
517
00:24:31,625 --> 00:24:33,082
- Bye.
- Hey, we're gonna go upstairs.
518
00:24:33,083 --> 00:24:34,707
I got to get ready
for the lunch.
519
00:24:34,708 --> 00:24:36,624
You must always give the
audience what they came for.
520
00:24:36,625 --> 00:24:37,707
- Yes.
- Take notes.
521
00:24:37,708 --> 00:24:39,540
Bubby, it's okay. Come
on, come on, come on.
522
00:24:39,541 --> 00:24:41,457
- It is not okay. It's not okay.
- It's okay.
523
00:24:44,541 --> 00:24:46,874
Yeah, I don't think you have to
worry about Emily killing you
524
00:24:46,875 --> 00:24:50,166
because they're all gonna
kill each other first.
525
00:25:25,166 --> 00:25:27,041
The toilet's clogged.
526
00:25:28,083 --> 00:25:30,041
That needs to stop happening.
527
00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:36,250
Oh. For you, friend.
528
00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:42,332
Wonderful.
529
00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:45,124
There she is.
530
00:25:45,125 --> 00:25:47,041
Fancy meeting you here.
531
00:25:47,625 --> 00:25:51,499
You know, I still can't
believe that you came to this.
532
00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:53,790
- Oh, I couldn't miss out on all the fun.
- Mm-hmm.
533
00:25:53,791 --> 00:25:55,749
- How are you holding up?
- I'm good.
534
00:25:55,750 --> 00:25:57,707
As long as they keep
plying me with enough booze
535
00:25:57,708 --> 00:25:59,540
to kill a small show
pony, I'll be fine.
536
00:25:59,541 --> 00:26:00,582
Great.
537
00:26:02,291 --> 00:26:03,374
I am curious, though.
538
00:26:03,375 --> 00:26:07,249
What did she say to you to
convince you to come to this farce?
539
00:26:07,250 --> 00:26:10,749
Oh, um, a little emotional
blackmail, a potential lawsuit,
540
00:26:10,750 --> 00:26:12,499
sort of dangling my
livelihood over my head.
541
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:13,749
- Mm.
- You know, just girlfriend stuff.
542
00:26:13,750 --> 00:26:18,374
Well, here's to murderous
girlfriends and murderous exes,
543
00:26:18,375 --> 00:26:21,874
and of course congratulations
for all your success.
544
00:26:21,875 --> 00:26:23,333
Thanks.
545
00:26:29,208 --> 00:26:30,290
Whoa.
546
00:26:30,291 --> 00:26:32,624
We think this is for real?
547
00:26:32,625 --> 00:26:33,832
They seem happy.
548
00:26:33,833 --> 00:26:34,957
No.
549
00:26:34,958 --> 00:26:38,374
Well, Emily has
a very short list
550
00:26:38,375 --> 00:26:40,874
of people that she cares about:
551
00:26:40,875 --> 00:26:42,832
Nicky and Emily.
552
00:26:42,833 --> 00:26:44,415
End of list.
553
00:26:44,416 --> 00:26:46,165
You and I, we don't
even make that cut.
554
00:26:46,166 --> 00:26:48,875
Especially not that Italian
Stallion over there.
555
00:26:53,291 --> 00:26:56,915
Well, my mom always said
holding a grudge was like
556
00:26:56,916 --> 00:27:00,457
drinking poison and waiting
for the other person to die.
557
00:27:00,458 --> 00:27:02,374
Same old Stephanie.
558
00:27:02,375 --> 00:27:04,707
Softball advice with a
side of zucchini muffins,
559
00:27:04,708 --> 00:27:06,207
which if I remember
correctly, were some of
560
00:27:06,208 --> 00:27:08,749
the most delicious things that
I've ever had in my mouth.
561
00:27:08,750 --> 00:27:10,290
That took a weird turn, Sean.
562
00:27:11,458 --> 00:27:13,707
- Come on.
- You still make those, though, right?
563
00:27:13,708 --> 00:27:16,082
Yeah, I... yes, I
still enjoy baking.
564
00:27:16,083 --> 00:27:17,375
And you're phenomenal at it.
565
00:27:17,958 --> 00:27:19,999
And you match that with the
whole crime solving thing,
566
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,207
and... amazing.
567
00:27:23,708 --> 00:27:25,665
I read your book, by the way.
568
00:27:25,666 --> 00:27:27,832
I think I came to the
conclusion that, um,
569
00:27:27,833 --> 00:27:30,124
the only thing that
you and I had in common
570
00:27:30,125 --> 00:27:32,958
was that we were both
obsessed with Emily.
571
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,165
Obsession? Sean.
572
00:27:36,166 --> 00:27:38,374
Seriously, Stephanie,
listen to me.
573
00:27:38,375 --> 00:27:42,124
If a grudge is
self-inflicted poison,
574
00:27:42,125 --> 00:27:44,874
then the person who
invited you to this wedding
575
00:27:44,875 --> 00:27:48,416
is the most poisoned person
that I have ever met.
576
00:27:49,458 --> 00:27:51,332
She doesn't let go.
577
00:27:51,333 --> 00:27:54,458
And you are the biggest
grudge of her life.
578
00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:57,165
That so?
579
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,458
Don't trust her for a minute.
580
00:28:06,916 --> 00:28:10,999
Anyhoos, if we're not going to be fucking,
then I am off to cement my reputation
581
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,790
as the drunken malcontent of an ex.
582
00:28:13,791 --> 00:28:15,750
Wish me luck.
583
00:28:28,875 --> 00:28:30,583
Hi, moms. Stephanie here.
584
00:28:31,166 --> 00:28:34,082
Uh, all the way in Capri,
still safe and sound so far.
585
00:28:34,083 --> 00:28:35,499
Check out this place, huh?
586
00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:37,582
Good thing they put
up all the flowers.
587
00:28:37,583 --> 00:28:40,041
Otherwise, these ancient ruins
would be real disappointing.
588
00:28:45,166 --> 00:28:46,540
- Give me the phone now.
- Whoa!
589
00:28:46,541 --> 00:28:47,790
Jesus Christ!
590
00:28:47,791 --> 00:28:49,624
What's the problem?
591
00:28:49,625 --> 00:28:52,082
If Signor Bartolo sees this
he will crush the phone...
592
00:28:52,083 --> 00:28:54,290
and throw the woman
off the cliff.
593
00:28:54,291 --> 00:28:57,791
It's all good. Go. Go! Now!
594
00:29:01,208 --> 00:29:02,874
What is
that? Why do they have guns?
595
00:29:02,875 --> 00:29:05,207
Because that makes killing efficient.
Can you put that thing away?
596
00:29:05,208 --> 00:29:06,415
It's go... I didn't...
597
00:29:06,416 --> 00:29:07,499
- I wasn't doing anything.
- Just don't let them...
598
00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:09,332
He already saw you.
Uh, Matteo saw you.
599
00:29:09,333 --> 00:29:11,165
- Just-just do what he says, okay?
- Who...
600
00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:12,665
What? Okay, all right.
601
00:29:12,666 --> 00:29:15,790
The families are on a truce.
602
00:29:15,791 --> 00:29:16,915
Hey, look at me.
603
00:29:16,916 --> 00:29:18,415
- Stop that.
- We agreed with the rules.
604
00:29:18,416 --> 00:29:20,207
No pictures of the
Bartolos at this event.
605
00:29:20,208 --> 00:29:22,499
She didn't understand. She...
606
00:29:22,500 --> 00:29:25,207
Miss America, delete everything
you have on your phone, okay?
607
00:29:25,208 --> 00:29:27,665
- Right now.
- Matteo, Matteo, Matteo, Matteo, Matteo.
608
00:29:27,666 --> 00:29:30,290
Calm down, everyone, okay?
609
00:29:30,291 --> 00:29:31,499
Stephanie is a visitor.
610
00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:33,082
- She didn't know that. Yeah.
- Oh, yes.
611
00:29:33,083 --> 00:29:34,290
I didn't know.
612
00:29:34,291 --> 00:29:35,790
She didn't know.
She's a visitor.
613
00:29:35,791 --> 00:29:37,751
- Yeah.
- Yes. And whose fault is that?
614
00:29:38,416 --> 00:29:39,582
Huh?
615
00:29:39,583 --> 00:29:41,624
You're the
one who continues to bring
616
00:29:41,625 --> 00:29:42,957
fucking Americans
into our business.
617
00:29:42,958 --> 00:29:45,790
Please stay calm.
I'll handle her.
618
00:29:45,791 --> 00:29:46,874
I'll handle this.
619
00:29:46,875 --> 00:29:48,332
Okay, baby.
Baby, baby. I'll-I'll deal with him.
620
00:29:48,333 --> 00:29:49,457
I'll deal with him.
621
00:29:49,458 --> 00:29:50,698
Don't worry, baby. Don't worry.
622
00:29:51,125 --> 00:29:52,874
First of all...
623
00:29:52,875 --> 00:29:54,540
we're not doing business.
624
00:29:54,541 --> 00:29:59,665
There won't be a single
photo of a Bartolo.
625
00:29:59,666 --> 00:30:01,416
I won't allow it.
626
00:30:01,916 --> 00:30:03,875
I'm going for a walk.
627
00:30:04,416 --> 00:30:05,707
I'm going with
him. See you later.
628
00:30:05,708 --> 00:30:07,624
Yeah, I got you.
629
00:30:07,625 --> 00:30:09,415
So hot, right?
630
00:30:09,416 --> 00:30:10,749
Dante's in the Mob?
631
00:30:10,750 --> 00:30:12,915
The Bartolos and Versanos
are business rivals.
632
00:30:12,916 --> 00:30:15,249
- Everybody here's in the Mob?
- Stop saying "Mob"
633
00:30:15,250 --> 00:30:17,249
or you're gonna get
us both whacked.
634
00:30:17,250 --> 00:30:19,624
Look at your face.
635
00:30:19,625 --> 00:30:20,915
Yeah, but seriously,
don't say it.
636
00:30:20,916 --> 00:30:22,082
'Cause they won't whack me,
637
00:30:22,083 --> 00:30:24,499
but, you know, they might
whack you, so... Come on.
638
00:30:24,500 --> 00:30:26,165
Close your mouth. Shut the
fuck up. Let's get a drink.
639
00:30:30,041 --> 00:30:33,207
These are real. They're
not... they're not fake.
640
00:30:33,208 --> 00:30:34,457
I swear.
641
00:30:34,458 --> 00:30:36,332
- Mama.
- Oh.
642
00:30:36,333 --> 00:30:37,957
You look amazing.
643
00:30:37,958 --> 00:30:41,124
No amount of fashion can rescue
this marriage from disaster.
644
00:30:41,125 --> 00:30:42,874
- Oh, lovely.
- Mama.
645
00:30:42,875 --> 00:30:45,165
Mama Portia, good to see you.
646
00:30:45,166 --> 00:30:47,249
This is Stephanie.
Stephanie Smothers,
647
00:30:47,250 --> 00:30:48,707
- this is Portia Versano.
- Yeah.
648
00:30:48,708 --> 00:30:50,707
Hi. It's nice to meet
you. You look beautiful.
649
00:30:50,708 --> 00:30:52,999
Oh, coming from you,
that means very little.
650
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,915
Let's eat.
651
00:30:54,916 --> 00:30:56,249
God, Mama.
652
00:30:56,250 --> 00:30:57,500
I'm in love with her.
653
00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:02,957
Everyone!
654
00:31:02,958 --> 00:31:07,249
Before we begin, I
have a surprise for
655
00:31:07,250 --> 00:31:10,832
the charming woman who has
kidnapped my Dante's heart.
656
00:31:10,833 --> 00:31:13,290
- I hate surprises.
- I don't know what it is.
657
00:31:13,291 --> 00:31:15,457
- Tell me what it is.
- I don't know, my love. Honestly.
658
00:31:15,458 --> 00:31:19,290
I was truly upset
when Dante told me that Emily had
659
00:31:19,291 --> 00:31:23,790
no one to stand by her side at the
wedding except for a relative stranger.
660
00:31:23,791 --> 00:31:24,999
Oh, I'm not a stranger. She...
661
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,374
Oh, poor Olivia...
662
00:31:26,375 --> 00:31:28,790
Oh, I apologize. Emily.
663
00:31:28,791 --> 00:31:32,582
- Oh.
- And so, my dear Emily,
664
00:31:32,583 --> 00:31:35,916
this is my wedding gift to you.
665
00:31:36,625 --> 00:31:41,249
The gift of your
own true family.
666
00:31:42,250 --> 00:31:46,124
Your dear, dear mother Margaret.
667
00:31:51,083 --> 00:31:52,083
Wave, wave.
668
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,625
Baby, uh...
669
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,999
- You fucking cunt.
- Mama...
670
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,874
I'm so happy I came.
671
00:32:02,875 --> 00:32:04,957
- Ow.
- Oh, just come on, walk.
672
00:32:04,958 --> 00:32:07,499
See, now? I said I didn't
want to be in Italy.
673
00:32:07,500 --> 00:32:10,249
- I want to be home with Bruce.
- Bruce is dead, honey.
674
00:32:10,250 --> 00:32:12,374
We keep talking about
this over and over again.
675
00:32:12,375 --> 00:32:13,624
- I know.
- Come on.
676
00:32:13,625 --> 00:32:15,790
Oh! Monkey face!
677
00:32:15,791 --> 00:32:17,540
Oh.
678
00:32:17,541 --> 00:32:20,124
Oh, my gosh, I haven't seen
you since you were a baby.
679
00:32:20,125 --> 00:32:22,207
But you prob... oh, you
probably don't remember me.
680
00:32:22,208 --> 00:32:23,290
It's your Auntie Linda.
681
00:32:23,291 --> 00:32:24,332
Oh.
682
00:32:24,333 --> 00:32:25,790
I delivered you and your sister.
683
00:32:25,791 --> 00:32:28,040
- Yeah, uh, so my mom told us.
- Mm-hmm.
684
00:32:28,041 --> 00:32:29,499
Yeah. I thought she made you up.
685
00:32:29,500 --> 00:32:31,457
I didn't make her up.
686
00:32:31,458 --> 00:32:33,457
She ushered you
all in, from Hell.
687
00:32:33,458 --> 00:32:35,249
Now, Margaret, be nice.
688
00:32:35,250 --> 00:32:37,082
They came out of your
womb, for goodness' sake.
689
00:32:37,083 --> 00:32:39,332
Look what a gorgeous
young woman you've
690
00:32:39,333 --> 00:32:40,457
- grown up to be.
- Mm.
691
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:42,749
I have to tell you, I tried
to track you down forever,
692
00:32:42,750 --> 00:32:45,582
but it's like you just disappeared
off the face of the earth.
693
00:32:45,583 --> 00:32:46,790
But now look at us.
694
00:32:46,791 --> 00:32:48,415
- I'm here at your wedding!
- Yeah.
695
00:32:48,416 --> 00:32:50,249
Come, say hi to your mother.
Margaret, look who's here.
696
00:32:50,250 --> 00:32:51,583
- It's your daughter.
- Yeah.
697
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,207
Faith?
698
00:32:54,208 --> 00:32:55,999
No, honey, Faith
is dead. It's Hope.
699
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,082
Hope?
700
00:32:57,083 --> 00:33:00,040
Hello, Mother. You
look different.
701
00:33:00,041 --> 00:33:01,540
- I had work done.
- Huh.
702
00:33:03,416 --> 00:33:04,874
Is that your son?
703
00:33:04,875 --> 00:33:06,874
Yeah. Okay, yeah.
704
00:33:06,875 --> 00:33:09,499
- You don't need to... You can just...
- Are you really my grandma?
705
00:33:09,500 --> 00:33:10,749
Yeah, this is her. Yeah.
706
00:33:10,750 --> 00:33:13,207
Oh. Oh.
707
00:33:13,208 --> 00:33:14,582
Demon spawn.
708
00:33:14,583 --> 00:33:16,915
- I'm sorry, what?
- Child of Satan.
709
00:33:16,916 --> 00:33:19,290
It's alive.
710
00:33:19,291 --> 00:33:20,665
Arsonist. Murderer.
711
00:33:20,666 --> 00:33:22,999
You crazy old witch,
you ruined my childhood.
712
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,249
I'm not gonna let you ruin his.
713
00:33:24,250 --> 00:33:25,999
- Okay?
- Linda, where is Bruce?
714
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,457
No, you stay away from me.
715
00:33:27,458 --> 00:33:28,915
Everybody, listen.
716
00:33:28,916 --> 00:33:31,749
When she started bleeding, I
wanted them to sterilize her,
717
00:33:31,750 --> 00:33:33,457
but they wouldn't do
it, would they? No.
718
00:33:33,458 --> 00:33:37,124
They didn't understand that
there is evil inside her,
719
00:33:37,125 --> 00:33:39,832
and evil is the only
thing that can come out.
720
00:33:39,833 --> 00:33:42,832
Margaret. It's okay, everybody.
It's just a bit of jet lag.
721
00:33:42,833 --> 00:33:45,624
Now, Margaret, nobody likes to
hear you go all fire and brimstone.
722
00:33:45,625 --> 00:33:47,874
Let's go back to the hotel,
and we'll get you a Gibson.
723
00:33:47,875 --> 00:33:49,582
- Thank you.
- Yes, come...
724
00:33:49,583 --> 00:33:51,332
You know, Linda, I
know what you did.
725
00:33:51,333 --> 00:33:53,041
Yeah, I saw the ashes.
726
00:33:53,625 --> 00:33:55,040
I mean, who burns a baby?
727
00:33:55,041 --> 00:33:56,125
Right?
728
00:33:56,791 --> 00:33:59,124
Oh.
729
00:33:59,125 --> 00:34:00,874
Uh, sorry. She'll, uh,
she'll be right as rain
730
00:34:00,875 --> 00:34:03,499
after a couple
Gibsons and a-a nap.
731
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:06,165
Thank you so much. My-my
Bubba. Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
732
00:34:06,166 --> 00:34:08,915
- Are you okay?
- Your mom's a big fat dick.
733
00:34:08,916 --> 00:34:10,833
My mom, my mom...
734
00:34:36,708 --> 00:34:37,832
What's so funny?
735
00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:40,207
I mean, what's not funny?
736
00:34:40,208 --> 00:34:43,082
You know, Emily tried to
play out some revenge fantasy
737
00:34:43,083 --> 00:34:45,790
by getting us to come
to this bollocks,
738
00:34:45,791 --> 00:34:49,957
and then she gets outplayed
by her future mother-in-law.
739
00:34:49,958 --> 00:34:52,499
I mean, I couldn't
write it better myself.
740
00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:55,207
You couldn't write
a grocery list yourself.
741
00:34:55,208 --> 00:34:57,624
Oh. How original.
742
00:34:57,625 --> 00:35:00,540
I mean, I thought you might have gone
wittier with your stint in prison,
743
00:35:00,541 --> 00:35:03,332
but I guess you were too busy
finger-banging your cellmates.
744
00:35:03,333 --> 00:35:05,582
I mean, what's next, some
sort of withering put-down
745
00:35:05,583 --> 00:35:07,040
about the size of my penis?
746
00:35:07,041 --> 00:35:08,165
Oh, God, no. No, no.
747
00:35:08,166 --> 00:35:09,624
I actually thought it
was a belly button.
748
00:35:09,625 --> 00:35:10,957
Honestly, for, like,
a year straight.
749
00:35:10,958 --> 00:35:12,582
Mm, a belly button.
750
00:35:12,583 --> 00:35:15,832
Well, in compared to your
cavernous vagina, sure.
751
00:35:15,833 --> 00:35:17,624
You know, sometimes I
thought I was fucking
752
00:35:17,625 --> 00:35:20,500
a wind sock in a
rainstorm.
753
00:35:21,500 --> 00:35:22,916
You're a fucking psychopath!
754
00:35:23,875 --> 00:35:26,207
Your entire family
are psychopaths.
755
00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:30,208
And what's more, you're marrying
some sort of budget mafioso.
756
00:35:31,708 --> 00:35:34,083
No court in the world's
gonna turn me down.
757
00:35:34,666 --> 00:35:36,790
What the fuck are
you talking about?
758
00:35:36,791 --> 00:35:38,832
Oh, I didn't tell you?
759
00:35:38,833 --> 00:35:41,457
I'm petitioning for
full custody of Nicky.
760
00:35:41,458 --> 00:35:42,790
Oh, shit.
761
00:35:42,791 --> 00:35:44,707
What, you don't let me
see my kid for five years,
762
00:35:44,708 --> 00:35:47,499
and then you think you're gonna
take him away from me forever?
763
00:35:47,500 --> 00:35:49,082
No. No.
764
00:35:49,083 --> 00:35:52,124
Sean, do you want to, um,
have the conversation somewhere el...
765
00:35:52,125 --> 00:35:54,166
You ruined my fucking life!
766
00:35:55,083 --> 00:35:57,415
First they thought
I was a murderer,
767
00:35:57,416 --> 00:35:59,540
and then they thought I was
some sort of pathetic loser
768
00:35:59,541 --> 00:36:02,707
because I couldn't keep some
Internet-famous housewife happy.
769
00:36:02,708 --> 00:36:04,290
I'm a literary pariah,
770
00:36:04,291 --> 00:36:06,915
and all because I stuck my
dick into the both of you.
771
00:36:06,916 --> 00:36:09,624
Enough! Shut the fuck up!
772
00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:11,457
Shut the fuck up.
773
00:36:13,541 --> 00:36:15,291
That's enough.
774
00:36:24,166 --> 00:36:27,083
With all respect, I think
it's time for you to go.
775
00:36:27,958 --> 00:36:31,625
With all due respect, fuck you.
776
00:36:32,625 --> 00:36:34,125
And suck my dick.
777
00:36:40,416 --> 00:36:42,207
Wow.
778
00:36:42,208 --> 00:36:45,082
What a family you're
marrying into, figlio mio.
779
00:36:45,083 --> 00:36:46,790
Of all the
people you could have married,
780
00:36:46,791 --> 00:36:50,151
- you had to choose this one.
- Can you shut her the fuck up?
781
00:36:51,416 --> 00:36:54,332
Is there anybody
who wants dessert?
782
00:36:55,458 --> 00:36:57,916
I guess I'll go talk to her.
783
00:37:21,083 --> 00:37:22,332
What's going on?
784
00:37:22,333 --> 00:37:24,040
What a fucking mess.
785
00:37:24,041 --> 00:37:26,915
Do you know what I'd do to Sean if
I wasn't so close to being free?
786
00:37:26,916 --> 00:37:28,458
Drown him in a lake?
787
00:37:30,125 --> 00:37:31,415
Come on, it's a joke.
788
00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:33,790
You know, this is
all your fault.
789
00:37:33,791 --> 00:37:35,915
If you would've just let me
disappear after my sister died,
790
00:37:35,916 --> 00:37:38,457
I could've collected that
insurance money, taken Nicky away.
791
00:37:38,458 --> 00:37:40,290
I wouldn't have had to
deal with any of this shit.
792
00:37:40,291 --> 00:37:43,458
Sure. But how would you have
gotten him away from Sean?
793
00:37:49,250 --> 00:37:51,624
You know, back in,
uh, back in the day,
794
00:37:51,625 --> 00:37:53,540
this place was run by
this dude named Tiberius.
795
00:37:53,541 --> 00:37:54,999
He was the emperor.
796
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,082
And he became known
for this...
797
00:37:57,083 --> 00:37:59,874
this charming little thing
called the Leap of Tiberius.
798
00:37:59,875 --> 00:38:01,790
Basically, he just
invited people here
799
00:38:01,791 --> 00:38:05,832
to be an entertaining
diversion, to amuse him.
800
00:38:05,833 --> 00:38:08,749
But if they didn't
amuse him, he...
801
00:38:08,750 --> 00:38:10,458
he threw them off
the fucking cliff.
802
00:38:13,750 --> 00:38:14,832
Huh.
803
00:38:14,833 --> 00:38:16,958
Maybe that's why I
brought you here.
804
00:38:19,125 --> 00:38:23,707
To be my entertaining diversion, you know,
with your whole mommy crime hour and your,
805
00:38:23,708 --> 00:38:27,916
"Oh, no, what's Emily
gonna do to me next?"
806
00:38:28,583 --> 00:38:31,000
All that pearl
clutching of yours.
807
00:38:33,791 --> 00:38:36,250
But I'm not feeling entertained.
808
00:38:37,750 --> 00:38:39,040
Or amused.
809
00:38:47,916 --> 00:38:51,166
You know, if you toss me off a
cliff, you'll never see Nicky again.
810
00:38:57,041 --> 00:38:58,208
Huh.
811
00:39:01,958 --> 00:39:04,582
I'm not gonna throw
you off a cliff, baby.
812
00:39:04,583 --> 00:39:07,290
You're my maid of
honor. I need you.
813
00:39:07,291 --> 00:39:09,708
Sean, on the other hand...
814
00:39:13,125 --> 00:39:14,874
Okay.
815
00:39:14,875 --> 00:39:16,707
I'm going back to
this event from Hell.
816
00:39:16,708 --> 00:39:18,749
I'll see you later at
my bachelorette party.
817
00:39:18,750 --> 00:39:19,874
Oh, I'm a little jet laggy,
818
00:39:19,875 --> 00:39:21,749
- so I'm probably just gonna skip it.
- No, no, no.
819
00:39:21,750 --> 00:39:22,999
Go back to the
hotel, take a nap.
820
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,207
I'd skip this thing if I could.
821
00:39:25,208 --> 00:39:26,665
And wear a bathing suit.
822
00:39:26,666 --> 00:39:29,750
If you stand me up, I will
toss you off the fucking cliff.
823
00:39:48,750 --> 00:39:50,790
Come on, Steph.
824
00:39:50,791 --> 00:39:52,832
Stephanie.
825
00:39:52,833 --> 00:39:55,749
Stephanie.
826
00:39:55,750 --> 00:39:58,082
Come on!
827
00:39:58,083 --> 00:39:59,250
Fuck!
828
00:40:00,833 --> 00:40:04,082
Stupid fucking dick again!
829
00:40:14,583 --> 00:40:15,750
Hello?
830
00:40:17,333 --> 00:40:19,540
I don't need room
service, thank you.
831
00:40:20,916 --> 00:40:23,291
Unless you're Dante's mom.
Then come on in.
832
00:40:24,916 --> 00:40:26,624
The fuck?
833
00:40:26,625 --> 00:40:28,915
I don't want to talk to you.
834
00:40:28,916 --> 00:40:30,833
Get out of here. Ow.
835
00:40:32,375 --> 00:40:34,041
Why would you do that?
836
00:40:36,458 --> 00:40:37,874
Fuck.
837
00:41:11,583 --> 00:41:12,582
Hi, moms.
838
00:41:12,583 --> 00:41:15,290
{\an8}Stephanie here.
Still alive. So far.
839
00:41:15,291 --> 00:41:17,790
I'm just heading to the pool
for the bachelorette party.
840
00:41:17,791 --> 00:41:19,790
Hope I'm not the
first person there.
841
00:41:19,791 --> 00:41:21,499
You're late.
842
00:41:21,500 --> 00:41:23,374
You remember Emily.
843
00:41:23,375 --> 00:41:25,040
Hi, Stephanie fans.
844
00:41:25,041 --> 00:41:27,457
Do your fans have a label?
845
00:41:27,458 --> 00:41:30,499
The Smotherettes? The
Smother Me To Deaths?
846
00:41:30,500 --> 00:41:32,749
It's a branding opportunity.
You need to be on this shit.
847
00:41:32,750 --> 00:41:34,374
No one else is coming?
848
00:41:34,375 --> 00:41:36,165
- No one else was invited.
- Oh.
849
00:41:36,166 --> 00:41:37,665
This way, we have the
place all to ourselves.
850
00:41:37,666 --> 00:41:39,999
Oh, how about the
Steph Infections?
851
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,749
Catchy, layered. Love.
Vote on it, ladies.
852
00:41:42,750 --> 00:41:44,165
We don't need to vote.
I don't think we...
853
00:41:44,166 --> 00:41:45,749
- Yeah, we do.
- Oh, they're voting. Oh.
854
00:41:45,750 --> 00:41:48,249
{\an8}Wow. Well, I'm gonna sign off.
855
00:41:48,250 --> 00:41:50,624
{\an8}If I die, show this
video to the police!
856
00:41:50,625 --> 00:41:52,332
- Ah! Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God, she's hilarious.
857
00:41:52,333 --> 00:41:53,665
She did it!
858
00:41:53,666 --> 00:41:55,416
Oh, but seriously.
859
00:41:56,541 --> 00:41:59,082
We're making
a martini with ice.
860
00:41:59,083 --> 00:42:01,457
I told you, Stephanie,
I'm a changed woman.
861
00:42:01,458 --> 00:42:03,665
A little watering down
never hurt anyone.
862
00:42:03,666 --> 00:42:05,290
Other than your sister Faith.
863
00:42:05,291 --> 00:42:06,457
Oh, shit!
864
00:42:06,458 --> 00:42:07,749
Are you for real right now?
865
00:42:07,750 --> 00:42:09,374
What?
866
00:42:09,375 --> 00:42:11,165
After all I've done for you?
867
00:42:11,166 --> 00:42:13,374
Look at all this. This
is all for you, baby.
868
00:42:13,375 --> 00:42:14,624
Your numbers just
went through the roof.
869
00:42:14,625 --> 00:42:16,290
You can thank me for this.
870
00:42:16,291 --> 00:42:17,790
How'd we get the
place to ourselves?
871
00:42:17,791 --> 00:42:20,749
I rented it out. I'm so
sick of everyone else.
872
00:42:20,750 --> 00:42:21,957
Ugh.
873
00:42:21,958 --> 00:42:24,749
Ah, just like old
times, you know?
874
00:42:24,750 --> 00:42:28,541
You, me and a couple
super dry martinis.
875
00:42:34,541 --> 00:42:38,124
To old friends, new beginnings.
876
00:42:38,125 --> 00:42:39,874
And not getting poisoned.
877
00:42:39,875 --> 00:42:41,333
Mm.
878
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:55,415
How long?
879
00:42:55,416 --> 00:42:56,790
Two minutes, 37 seconds.
880
00:42:56,791 --> 00:42:57,957
- Best one yet.
- That's it?
881
00:42:57,958 --> 00:42:59,790
No, that was your best one.
882
00:42:59,791 --> 00:43:01,415
Come on, Smothers.
883
00:43:01,416 --> 00:43:02,874
Ugh. No.
884
00:43:02,875 --> 00:43:05,582
Kate Winslet, she could do
it for like seven minutes
885
00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:07,374
when she was preparing for, um,
886
00:43:07,375 --> 00:43:08,999
The One of Wat... The
Way... The Way of Water.
887
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,457
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- The Avatar thing.
888
00:43:10,458 --> 00:43:11,665
I saw a whole thing on
YouTube. She's amazing.
889
00:43:11,666 --> 00:43:13,666
Yeah, well, she also
killed Jack, so...
890
00:43:14,333 --> 00:43:15,540
I know, right?
891
00:43:15,541 --> 00:43:16,624
Girl, move over.
892
00:43:16,625 --> 00:43:18,040
- Totally. Cold-blooded murder.
- There is room.
893
00:43:18,041 --> 00:43:19,625
- There is room.
- Mm-hmm.
894
00:43:21,041 --> 00:43:22,832
What is going on with Sean?
895
00:43:22,833 --> 00:43:25,540
- He's so mean now. He's so mean and drunk.
- Yeah.
896
00:43:25,541 --> 00:43:27,874
Yeah, I'm not worried about him.
897
00:43:28,958 --> 00:43:30,040
Totally.
898
00:43:30,041 --> 00:43:31,165
No. Wait, what?
899
00:43:31,166 --> 00:43:32,916
That's very ominous.
Say more things.
900
00:43:33,958 --> 00:43:35,999
Come on, you love it.
901
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:37,582
You do. Crime's your kink.
902
00:43:37,583 --> 00:43:39,165
No. No.
903
00:43:39,166 --> 00:43:41,499
I don't, um...
904
00:43:41,500 --> 00:43:44,332
I stopped all that.
I was... lousy at it.
905
00:43:44,333 --> 00:43:46,290
You were not. I watched all
your stuff in the computer lab.
906
00:43:46,291 --> 00:43:47,832
Uh, listen.
907
00:43:47,833 --> 00:43:50,582
- The-the ice cream truck guy who was...
- Super fan.
908
00:43:50,583 --> 00:43:51,999
I am a super fan.
909
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,874
No, no, no. You're genuinely
good at it, though.
910
00:43:53,875 --> 00:43:56,040
You are. The-the guy who
was laundering money.
911
00:43:56,041 --> 00:43:57,915
- Yeah.
- And the, and the-the meditation mommy
912
00:43:57,916 --> 00:44:00,415
who was locking
her nanny in the basement.
913
00:44:00,416 --> 00:44:01,707
It's so fucked up.
914
00:44:01,708 --> 00:44:03,665
She was a disgrace to moms.
915
00:44:03,666 --> 00:44:06,082
And the one... that
creep, the swim coach.
916
00:44:06,083 --> 00:44:07,582
The guy who was
filming the-the kids
917
00:44:07,583 --> 00:44:09,957
- in the locker room. Fuck.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, the...
918
00:44:09,958 --> 00:44:11,415
- "The Speedo Pedo."
- Yeah.
919
00:44:11,416 --> 00:44:12,999
Yeah, that was, that
was a real mess.
920
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,624
I know. He was a fucking
perv. Good riddance.
921
00:44:14,625 --> 00:44:16,207
Yeah. Yeah.
922
00:44:16,208 --> 00:44:17,624
No, I didn't do it.
923
00:44:17,625 --> 00:44:20,915
I'm explaining to everyone
out there that I didn't do it.
924
00:44:20,916 --> 00:44:22,290
I'm just trying to
figure out the truth.
925
00:44:22,291 --> 00:44:24,499
You ruined my fucking life.
926
00:44:24,500 --> 00:44:26,957
We can figure this out, okay?
927
00:44:29,250 --> 00:44:30,665
Don't.
928
00:44:31,750 --> 00:44:33,957
What? What's
up? What are you doing?
929
00:44:33,958 --> 00:44:35,291
Oh, there's more.
930
00:44:38,166 --> 00:44:40,957
There is very specifically
no more.
931
00:44:40,958 --> 00:44:43,250
- The guy is dead, so...
- No. No, no, no.
932
00:44:44,291 --> 00:44:46,415
No, I'm supposed to believe
that-that Super Mommy
933
00:44:46,416 --> 00:44:48,999
feels bad for a pedophile?
934
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,749
- I don't buy that.
- No, I was the one who found
935
00:44:50,750 --> 00:44:52,832
the photo cache, and...
936
00:44:52,833 --> 00:44:56,790
he shot himself right in front of
me, so it's not a great memory.
937
00:44:56,791 --> 00:44:58,124
Okay.
938
00:44:58,125 --> 00:45:01,457
And the cops, um,
they weren't s-sure
939
00:45:01,458 --> 00:45:03,707
if the evidence was
planted on his comp...
940
00:45:03,708 --> 00:45:05,124
I don't know. I don't know.
941
00:45:05,125 --> 00:45:06,583
You think he was innocent.
942
00:45:08,041 --> 00:45:10,040
If he wasn't guilty,
it's too late now.
943
00:45:10,041 --> 00:45:11,499
Well, I don't know. I
don't know about that.
944
00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:13,040
People don't come
back from the dead.
945
00:45:13,041 --> 00:45:14,124
Except you.
946
00:45:14,125 --> 00:45:16,040
'Cause you-you
caught me, asshole.
947
00:45:16,041 --> 00:45:18,915
I wish you didn't, but you did because
your instincts are fucking great.
948
00:45:18,916 --> 00:45:20,957
If you think he was
guilty, he was guilty.
949
00:45:20,958 --> 00:45:24,290
Ugh, low-self-esteem Stephanie
is such a boner killer.
950
00:45:24,291 --> 00:45:26,915
Can you just go back
to being cute? Oh.
951
00:45:26,916 --> 00:45:28,832
You do have terrible
instincts in men.
952
00:45:29,916 --> 00:45:30,999
- There you go.
- Thank you.
953
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:32,665
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
954
00:45:32,666 --> 00:45:35,040
No, no. You're the
one who married Sean.
955
00:45:35,041 --> 00:45:36,415
Mm. Ugh.
956
00:45:36,416 --> 00:45:38,124
Please. Ugh, I just
threw up in my mouth.
957
00:45:38,125 --> 00:45:39,790
I hate it. Don't even talk about it.
958
00:45:39,791 --> 00:45:43,207
- I hate it.
- And Dante's very, uh...
959
00:45:43,208 --> 00:45:46,415
very sexy, very rich,
very all the things.
960
00:45:46,416 --> 00:45:47,499
Mm. You know.
961
00:45:47,500 --> 00:45:49,124
But?
962
00:45:50,458 --> 00:45:52,582
We've all seen The Godfather.
963
00:45:52,583 --> 00:45:53,957
You know?
964
00:45:53,958 --> 00:45:55,874
It doesn't work out
great for Diane Keaton.
965
00:45:55,875 --> 00:45:57,375
Hmm.
966
00:45:58,666 --> 00:46:01,874
Well, Diane Keaton
didn't write her ending.
967
00:46:01,875 --> 00:46:03,375
I write mine.
968
00:46:10,625 --> 00:46:12,125
Dad!
969
00:46:12,708 --> 00:46:15,708
I know it's past curfew, and
I'm sorry I stayed out so late.
970
00:46:18,250 --> 00:46:19,832
I lost my key, okay?
971
00:46:19,833 --> 00:46:21,332
I'm-I'm sorry.
972
00:46:21,333 --> 00:46:22,916
Hey, Nicky.
973
00:46:23,958 --> 00:46:24,999
Your dad's probably asleep.
974
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,125
He was, uh, pretty
tired when I saw him.
975
00:46:27,708 --> 00:46:29,625
He's probably passed
out drunk again.
976
00:46:30,958 --> 00:46:32,832
Um... tell you what.
977
00:46:32,833 --> 00:46:34,332
Why don't you go
to the front desk,
978
00:46:34,333 --> 00:46:36,207
and we'll have the
housekeeper let us in, okay?
979
00:46:36,208 --> 00:46:38,207
I'll wait here in case
your dad comes out.
980
00:46:38,208 --> 00:46:40,082
- Okay?
- Okay.
981
00:46:56,375 --> 00:46:59,832
So, the
maid opened the door...
982
00:47:10,625 --> 00:47:12,458
...and there he was.
983
00:47:14,166 --> 00:47:16,166
Just the way you all saw him.
984
00:47:24,666 --> 00:47:26,790
I had just
finished my clay mask,
985
00:47:26,791 --> 00:47:30,165
which is step three in my nightly
regimen, when I heard Stephanie screaming.
986
00:47:30,166 --> 00:47:32,165
That was the housekeeper.
I don't scream.
987
00:47:32,166 --> 00:47:34,665
Well, I tell you, I
just came running.
988
00:47:34,666 --> 00:47:36,290
Mind you, I barely knew him.
989
00:47:36,291 --> 00:47:37,832
A tragic accident.
990
00:47:37,833 --> 00:47:41,499
We hate it when such things
happen on the island.
991
00:47:41,500 --> 00:47:42,957
Never good for tourism.
992
00:47:42,958 --> 00:47:44,915
This
is truly a nightmare.
993
00:47:44,916 --> 00:47:46,915
Darling, we must
postpone the wedding.
994
00:47:46,916 --> 00:47:49,249
- Mom, I must get married.
- No, but it's not possible...
995
00:47:49,250 --> 00:47:52,207
Mom, I cannot change
the wedding date.
996
00:47:52,208 --> 00:47:53,915
That's not even possible.
997
00:47:53,916 --> 00:47:56,516
Signora McLanden,
I'm very sorry for your loss.
998
00:47:57,083 --> 00:47:59,249
Thank you, Detective.
999
00:47:59,250 --> 00:48:01,625
Despite everything,
Sean was a good man.
1000
00:48:02,875 --> 00:48:05,625
I'll let you all get
some sleep. Good night.
1001
00:48:06,166 --> 00:48:07,646
Alright, let's go.
1002
00:48:09,625 --> 00:48:12,875
Not to be callous, but
this solves a lot of problems for you.
1003
00:48:15,750 --> 00:48:17,500
Wow, that was callous.
1004
00:48:20,083 --> 00:48:21,915
And yeah.
1005
00:48:21,916 --> 00:48:23,624
I guess it does.
1006
00:48:27,833 --> 00:48:29,415
Excuse me.
1007
00:48:29,416 --> 00:48:31,665
Hi. Um, sorry.
1008
00:48:31,666 --> 00:48:35,040
Just... How can you be so sure
that this was an accident?
1009
00:48:35,041 --> 00:48:36,999
He was drunk when
we all saw him last,
1010
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:40,207
but drunk people generally don't just
bleed out of their eyes, nose and mouth.
1011
00:48:40,208 --> 00:48:42,374
I mean, just doesn't
that seem odd to you?
1012
00:48:42,375 --> 00:48:44,290
I know you haven't had
time to run a toxicology,
1013
00:48:44,291 --> 00:48:45,457
much less an autopsy.
1014
00:48:45,458 --> 00:48:48,165
American women and your
true crime obsession.
1015
00:48:48,166 --> 00:48:49,415
Thank you, signora,
for your concern,
1016
00:48:49,416 --> 00:48:52,165
but we have dealt with
cases like this many times.
1017
00:48:52,166 --> 00:48:55,083
- This was simply a tragic accident.
- Tragic accident. I heard you.
1018
00:48:56,125 --> 00:48:59,540
There are a lot of people at this wedding
who have reason to want Sean dead.
1019
00:48:59,541 --> 00:49:00,832
Some more than others.
1020
00:49:03,875 --> 00:49:06,541
The Versanos are fine,
upstanding people, signora.
1021
00:49:07,125 --> 00:49:12,290
Neither they nor anyone they would invite
to this island would ever cause harm.
1022
00:49:12,291 --> 00:49:14,457
So I suggest you get some sleep
1023
00:49:14,458 --> 00:49:17,707
and get ready for
the big day tomorrow.
1024
00:49:17,708 --> 00:49:18,791
Hmm?
1025
00:49:52,416 --> 00:49:53,665
Hi.
1026
00:49:53,666 --> 00:49:55,499
- Where have you been?
- I'm sorry.
1027
00:49:55,500 --> 00:49:57,249
I found the cutest
little restaurant
1028
00:49:57,250 --> 00:49:59,165
and had the cutest little
three bottles of wine.
1029
00:50:01,666 --> 00:50:02,707
You look upset.
1030
00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:03,790
Sean's dead.
1031
00:50:03,791 --> 00:50:05,333
I think Emily might
have killed him.
1032
00:50:06,125 --> 00:50:08,082
Oh, my God.
1033
00:50:08,083 --> 00:50:10,374
- Fantastic!
- Jesus! Vicky!
1034
00:50:10,375 --> 00:50:12,124
Sorry. Sorry,
sorry, sorry, sorry.
1035
00:50:12,125 --> 00:50:13,957
You know, it's just the
three bottles of wine
1036
00:50:13,958 --> 00:50:17,790
and the 15 years of trying to
find a hit goddamn book talking.
1037
00:50:17,791 --> 00:50:18,832
Are you sure it was Emily?
1038
00:50:18,833 --> 00:50:21,374
No. I mean, she had
every reason to,
1039
00:50:21,375 --> 00:50:23,874
and now she has some kind of, like,
diplomatic immunity or something,
1040
00:50:23,875 --> 00:50:26,249
'cause all the cops here are
terrified of her new Mafia family.
1041
00:50:26,250 --> 00:50:27,499
Wait, Mafia?
1042
00:50:27,500 --> 00:50:29,290
Emily is marrying into the Mob?
1043
00:50:29,291 --> 00:50:31,832
You would know all this if
you were here doing your job.
1044
00:50:31,833 --> 00:50:33,832
I'm sorry, but yes!
1045
00:50:33,833 --> 00:50:35,415
That's amazing.
1046
00:50:38,541 --> 00:50:39,999
I'm sorry.
1047
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,082
Okay. New plan.
1048
00:50:42,083 --> 00:50:45,165
Do not post anything on social media,
'cause that's what killed the first book.
1049
00:50:45,166 --> 00:50:46,999
Everybody already
knew that story.
1050
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,207
Good night, Vicky.
1051
00:50:48,208 --> 00:50:49,957
Oh, honey, you're in
shock! You need me!
1052
00:51:01,375 --> 00:51:02,500
Jesus.
1053
00:52:20,583 --> 00:52:22,040
I brought you a cornetto.
1054
00:52:22,041 --> 00:52:23,874
I don't know. I've just
never understood biscotti.
1055
00:52:23,875 --> 00:52:25,499
It's visually dull.
It tastes like chalk.
1056
00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:27,915
Absolutely
sorry excuse for a pastry.
1057
00:52:27,916 --> 00:52:29,124
Why are you following me?
1058
00:52:29,125 --> 00:52:30,915
I'm sorry. Do I know you?
1059
00:52:30,916 --> 00:52:32,582
I guess, 'cause you
were at my reading,
1060
00:52:32,583 --> 00:52:35,040
and then you were outside my wine
bar, and now you're in Italy.
1061
00:52:35,041 --> 00:52:37,165
It's crazy. Are you a stalker?
1062
00:52:37,166 --> 00:52:38,875
Do I need Mace?
'Cause I have Mace.
1063
00:52:41,250 --> 00:52:42,666
I didn't think you could see me.
1064
00:52:43,250 --> 00:52:45,415
I am so bad at
observe and report.
1065
00:52:45,416 --> 00:52:47,166
- It's, like, insane.
- Sorry, um...
1066
00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:49,999
Observe and report?
1067
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,500
Are... are you a cop?
1068
00:52:53,333 --> 00:52:54,415
Agent Irene Walker.
1069
00:52:54,416 --> 00:52:56,624
- FBI.
- You're FBI?
1070
00:52:56,625 --> 00:52:58,082
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- Really?
1071
00:52:58,083 --> 00:52:59,166
Dressed like that?
1072
00:52:59,958 --> 00:53:00,957
I'm undercover.
1073
00:53:00,958 --> 00:53:04,166
Okay. Um, and why
are you following me?
1074
00:53:08,666 --> 00:53:09,999
Do you know this woman?
1075
00:53:12,833 --> 00:53:15,125
That... that's
Emily's Aunt Linda.
1076
00:53:16,833 --> 00:53:18,624
That's the, um...
1077
00:53:18,625 --> 00:53:19,915
She's at the Dress Barn.
1078
00:53:19,916 --> 00:53:21,457
That's right around the
corner from the Book Nook.
1079
00:53:21,458 --> 00:53:24,124
Well, yeah, this was taken
the same day as your reading.
1080
00:53:24,125 --> 00:53:25,458
Linda was in Warfield?
1081
00:53:29,750 --> 00:53:31,540
Uh, and who's-who's that?
1082
00:53:31,541 --> 00:53:33,041
Possible accomplice.
1083
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:36,124
Right.
1084
00:53:36,125 --> 00:53:37,458
Wait, that's Emily.
1085
00:53:38,541 --> 00:53:40,790
That's Emily's tattoo.
1086
00:53:40,791 --> 00:53:42,915
I... I thought they just met.
1087
00:53:42,916 --> 00:53:45,124
Wh... Sorry. Why are
you following Linda?
1088
00:53:45,125 --> 00:53:46,999
Um, I didn't say that
I w... I said too much.
1089
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,040
- I... Give me my phone back. No.
- No, you...
1090
00:53:49,041 --> 00:53:50,540
Give me my phone back.
I'm not saying it...
1091
00:53:50,541 --> 00:53:51,624
You are following me...
1092
00:53:51,625 --> 00:53:53,208
Stephanie.
1093
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,083
Hi.
1094
00:53:55,875 --> 00:53:56,999
Hey.
1095
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,457
Good morning.
1096
00:54:00,375 --> 00:54:01,790
I see you're making friends.
1097
00:54:01,791 --> 00:54:04,332
Well, the power of the Internet.
1098
00:54:04,333 --> 00:54:05,540
You know?
1099
00:54:05,541 --> 00:54:07,499
She's, um, a big fan of my show.
1100
00:54:07,500 --> 00:54:09,665
- "Hi, moms."
- That's the show I do.
1101
00:54:09,666 --> 00:54:11,624
Oh, my goodness, Stephanie.
1102
00:54:11,625 --> 00:54:13,750
It seems like you're an
international superstar.
1103
00:54:14,500 --> 00:54:16,832
Well, you know, the
moms are everywhere.
1104
00:54:16,833 --> 00:54:18,540
So true. Everyone has one.
1105
00:54:18,541 --> 00:54:19,832
Have so much fun on
the rest of your trip.
1106
00:54:19,833 --> 00:54:22,207
- Thank... Yes, you, too. Absolutely.
- Yeah.
1107
00:54:22,208 --> 00:54:23,290
Uh, wait, wait.
1108
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,916
Uh, do you want me to take
your picture with her?
1109
00:54:31,708 --> 00:54:33,082
Yeah, I would.
Of course I would.
1110
00:54:33,083 --> 00:54:34,790
- It would be weird if you didn't.
- It would be so weird
1111
00:54:34,791 --> 00:54:36,665
- if I didn't want that, so I do.
- Yeah. Yeah, of course.
1112
00:54:36,666 --> 00:54:37,707
Um, you can take it on my phone.
1113
00:54:37,708 --> 00:54:39,915
- Well, open your camera for him.
- Yeah.
1114
00:54:39,916 --> 00:54:41,582
Don't just hand him
your unlocked phone
1115
00:54:41,583 --> 00:54:42,999
- like a crazy person.
- Right.
1116
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:44,332
Let's be safe, ladies.
1117
00:54:44,333 --> 00:54:45,915
- Here you go.
- Let's see. Cheers.
1118
00:54:45,916 --> 00:54:48,165
Let's do it. All right.
1119
00:54:48,166 --> 00:54:49,207
I wish.
1120
00:54:49,208 --> 00:54:50,583
All right. All right.
1121
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:53,332
Three, two, one.
1122
00:54:53,333 --> 00:54:55,916
Three, two, one,
and three, two, one.
1123
00:54:56,500 --> 00:54:57,707
Aw, beautiful.
1124
00:54:57,708 --> 00:54:58,915
Thank you. Amazing.
1125
00:54:58,916 --> 00:55:00,500
Yeah, have...
1126
00:55:01,666 --> 00:55:02,875
Have a good day.
1127
00:55:03,875 --> 00:55:06,207
You, too, big-big
guy. You're a big guy.
1128
00:55:06,208 --> 00:55:08,249
Okay, um, Stephanie,
I'll see you around.
1129
00:55:08,250 --> 00:55:09,790
Or I'll see you...
I'll-I'll be wa...
1130
00:55:09,791 --> 00:55:11,290
- I'll be watching your videos or...
- Okay.
1131
00:55:11,291 --> 00:55:14,531
- I'll wa... be watching online.
- On the Internet. Okay. Yep.
1132
00:55:16,541 --> 00:55:18,374
Must be hard being
so popular, right?
1133
00:55:18,375 --> 00:55:19,582
Price of fame.
1134
00:55:19,583 --> 00:55:20,957
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1135
00:55:20,958 --> 00:55:22,708
Um...
1136
00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:26,249
I should probably
find Emily, you know?
1137
00:55:26,250 --> 00:55:27,999
I'm sure she needs something.
1138
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,374
- Big day and all.
- Right.
1139
00:55:29,375 --> 00:55:31,250
Maid of honor
never rests, right?
1140
00:55:32,291 --> 00:55:34,040
I'll just...
1141
00:55:34,041 --> 00:55:36,499
Just gonna... squeeze
past you here.
1142
00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:37,582
Okay.
1143
00:55:37,583 --> 00:55:40,791
Maid of honor never rests.
1144
00:55:50,625 --> 00:55:52,165
- Ben?
- Hello. Hello?
1145
00:55:52,166 --> 00:55:53,665
Can you run a background
check on someone for me?
1146
00:55:53,666 --> 00:55:55,916
- Linda McLanden?
- McLanden?
1147
00:55:56,625 --> 00:55:58,415
Related to Emily?
1148
00:55:58,416 --> 00:56:00,499
Uh, it's her aunt. Yeah.
1149
00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:02,374
Uh, can you look her
up on the FBI system?
1150
00:56:02,375 --> 00:56:03,582
Yeah, I could, uh,
1151
00:56:03,583 --> 00:56:05,207
hit up my boy Jim in
the New York office.
1152
00:56:05,208 --> 00:56:06,832
- But what's up?
- I don't know,
1153
00:56:06,833 --> 00:56:07,915
but I need to.
1154
00:56:07,916 --> 00:56:09,207
Okay, thanks.
1155
00:56:09,208 --> 00:56:10,665
You're the best.
Sorry to wake you.
1156
00:56:10,666 --> 00:56:12,707
Ah, come on, I wasn't
asleep.
1157
00:56:12,708 --> 00:56:14,207
- Of course you weren't.
- Hey, Steph,
1158
00:56:14,208 --> 00:56:16,040
it's nice to hear
you back in the game.
1159
00:56:16,041 --> 00:56:17,249
I'm not back in the game.
1160
00:56:17,250 --> 00:56:18,915
Everyone else but me
is just incompetent.
1161
00:56:18,916 --> 00:56:20,250
Okay, bye.
1162
00:56:31,166 --> 00:56:33,165
Oh! Oh! Stephanie.
1163
00:56:33,166 --> 00:56:34,707
My goodness, you gave
me such a fright.
1164
00:56:34,708 --> 00:56:35,999
I'm so sorry.
1165
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,082
- How are you, sweetie?
- Oh, I'm good.
1166
00:56:38,083 --> 00:56:40,582
- I'm just here to check on Emily.
- Oh, don't.
1167
00:56:40,583 --> 00:56:41,915
I wouldn't bother with that.
1168
00:56:41,916 --> 00:56:43,749
- She is in a real mood.
- Oh.
1169
00:56:43,750 --> 00:56:45,999
Threw both me and her dressmaker out.
1170
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,165
I think she's taking
Sean's death pretty hard.
1171
00:56:48,166 --> 00:56:49,957
Sure. It would be
weird if she didn't.
1172
00:56:49,958 --> 00:56:51,499
Yeah, so
I think it's best
1173
00:56:51,500 --> 00:56:53,415
if we just give her
all the space she needs
1174
00:56:53,416 --> 00:56:55,207
- before the wedding, you know.
- Oh.
1175
00:56:55,208 --> 00:56:57,790
We all process the happiest
day of our life differently.
1176
00:56:57,791 --> 00:56:58,790
- Oh.
- Don't we?
1177
00:56:58,791 --> 00:57:00,124
- Yeah, we sure do.
- Yeah.
1178
00:57:00,125 --> 00:57:01,540
It's so great that
you're here for her now.
1179
00:57:01,541 --> 00:57:04,249
So great that you're here for her, too.
1180
00:57:04,250 --> 00:57:05,624
So I'll see you at the altar.
1181
00:57:05,625 --> 00:57:08,040
I will
see you at the altar.
1182
00:57:08,041 --> 00:57:10,250
- Not if I see you first.
- Oh.
1183
00:57:14,375 --> 00:57:16,999
Well...
1184
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:18,457
time to get beautiful.
1185
00:57:18,458 --> 00:57:21,207
As if it's possible for you
to be any more beautiful.
1186
00:57:21,208 --> 00:57:22,750
Oh, you're so sweet.
1187
00:58:03,833 --> 00:58:05,458
You look lovely, Emily.
1188
00:58:10,500 --> 00:58:11,916
Do I?
1189
00:59:11,083 --> 00:59:14,541
I, Dante,
take you, Emily, as my wife...
1190
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:16,500
until death do us part.
1191
00:59:17,083 --> 00:59:19,625
Until death do us part.
1192
00:59:21,541 --> 00:59:23,250
In the name
of the Father...
1193
00:59:23,375 --> 00:59:25,625
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
1194
00:59:45,333 --> 00:59:46,332
Clap.
1195
00:59:46,333 --> 00:59:48,124
Clap. Who got married?
1196
00:59:48,125 --> 00:59:49,415
Oh, my God.
1197
01:00:07,791 --> 01:00:11,790
Um, Mama, can I, um... can
I go play with my drone?
1198
01:00:11,791 --> 01:00:13,207
- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
1199
01:00:13,208 --> 01:00:14,582
- Okay.
- Thank you. I love you.
1200
01:00:14,583 --> 01:00:16,250
I love you.
1201
01:00:20,208 --> 01:00:21,374
Okay.
1202
01:00:21,375 --> 01:00:22,457
Right.
1203
01:00:26,083 --> 01:00:27,708
Yep.
1204
01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:32,790
Thank you. Thanks for being here to
share this new beginning with us both.
1205
01:00:32,791 --> 01:00:38,124
I'd like to make a-a toast to
someone who changed my life.
1206
01:00:38,125 --> 01:00:40,290
When my father died,
1207
01:00:40,291 --> 01:00:41,916
I was very young.
1208
01:00:42,916 --> 01:00:44,790
My mother Portia stepped up,
1209
01:00:44,791 --> 01:00:46,040
- protected me.
- Aw.
1210
01:00:46,041 --> 01:00:47,874
Taught me how to run
a family business.
1211
01:00:47,875 --> 01:00:52,165
So, I wouldn't be who I am today
without your love and sacrifices.
1212
01:00:52,166 --> 01:00:54,957
- Aw.
- Yeah. Really.
1213
01:00:54,958 --> 01:00:57,541
You taught me how to be a man.
1214
01:00:58,125 --> 01:01:01,540
So it's in your honor...
1215
01:01:01,541 --> 01:01:04,040
yeah, it's in your
honor that I do this.
1216
01:01:08,041 --> 01:01:09,790
This is my prenup.
1217
01:01:11,875 --> 01:01:14,041
And this...
1218
01:01:16,708 --> 01:01:19,125
...is the fire of love.
1219
01:01:20,791 --> 01:01:22,415
What
the fuck are you doing?
1220
01:01:22,416 --> 01:01:24,958
Oh. That's fire.
1221
01:01:33,916 --> 01:01:37,915
Some have questioned about
bringing an American into our fold.
1222
01:01:37,916 --> 01:01:40,832
Let no one doubt how
far I'll go for love.
1223
01:01:44,541 --> 01:01:45,666
To peace.
1224
01:01:46,250 --> 01:01:49,875
Peace between those I love,
but even more than that...
1225
01:01:50,375 --> 01:01:51,665
Peace.
1226
01:01:51,666 --> 01:01:53,624
Peace...
1227
01:01:53,625 --> 01:01:55,540
between the Bartolos
and the Versanos.
1228
01:02:11,083 --> 01:02:12,165
Peace.
1229
01:02:12,166 --> 01:02:13,499
Cheers.
1230
01:02:19,375 --> 01:02:21,250
I am in Hell.
1231
01:02:21,625 --> 01:02:22,624
This is Hell...
1232
01:02:22,625 --> 01:02:24,833
and I'm being
punished for my sins.
1233
01:02:30,875 --> 01:02:34,874
My lovely
Emily has informed me that, um,
1234
01:02:34,875 --> 01:02:39,499
Stephanie Smothers, her maid
of honor and, um, dear friend,
1235
01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:41,207
will make a toast as well.
1236
01:02:41,208 --> 01:02:42,833
Oh.
1237
01:02:44,666 --> 01:02:46,083
- Stephanie.
- Whoo!
1238
01:02:46,666 --> 01:02:48,291
Oh, it's a nightmare. Hello!
1239
01:02:49,333 --> 01:02:52,624
I'm Stephanie. I am
the maid of honor.
1240
01:02:52,625 --> 01:02:56,957
So I have a speech
that I will say now.
1241
01:02:56,958 --> 01:02:59,707
It's difficult to follow
someone burning their prenup.
1242
01:02:59,708 --> 01:03:00,915
Kind of a dick move.
1243
01:03:00,916 --> 01:03:02,999
Really set me up to
fail. Just kidding.
1244
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:04,290
What can I say about Emily?
1245
01:03:04,291 --> 01:03:08,374
I met Emily because
our sons were friends
1246
01:03:08,375 --> 01:03:10,374
and motherhood is
a powerful bond.
1247
01:03:10,375 --> 01:03:15,749
This creature just comes
screaming out of your body,
1248
01:03:15,750 --> 01:03:18,249
rips you in half really.
1249
01:03:18,250 --> 01:03:22,457
But marriage, you know, when
does marriage not work out?
1250
01:03:22,458 --> 01:03:24,749
Uh, in my case...
1251
01:03:24,750 --> 01:03:26,957
murder-suicide, and in Emily's,
1252
01:03:26,958 --> 01:03:29,082
you know, just the
classic laundry list:
1253
01:03:29,083 --> 01:03:33,415
extortion, identity
fraud, fratricide, prison.
1254
01:03:33,416 --> 01:03:36,457
But you two are gonna be
great. I've got a feeling.
1255
01:03:36,458 --> 01:03:39,665
Did you guys know that, uh,
married couples cannot be
1256
01:03:39,666 --> 01:03:41,874
compelled to testify
against each other in court?
1257
01:03:43,291 --> 01:03:45,665
So, congratulations.
1258
01:03:45,666 --> 01:03:47,291
Let's kick this off with a bang!
1259
01:03:51,083 --> 01:03:52,707
Oh.
1260
01:03:52,708 --> 01:03:54,499
- Assholes.
- Thank you, Stephanie.
1261
01:03:54,500 --> 01:03:56,165
That was beautiful.
1262
01:03:56,166 --> 01:03:57,915
My pleasure.
1263
01:03:59,833 --> 01:04:01,458
Oh, Lord have mercy.
1264
01:04:13,916 --> 01:04:17,082
I cannot
believe he burned the prenup.
1265
01:04:17,083 --> 01:04:18,915
That's who Dante is.
1266
01:04:18,916 --> 01:04:20,791
He loves grand gestures.
1267
01:04:21,958 --> 01:04:24,249
Let's hope nothing
happens to him.
1268
01:04:26,333 --> 01:04:28,999
Another martini, signora?
1269
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:31,499
Why not, Alessandro?
1270
01:04:31,500 --> 01:04:33,583
- No ice.
- Never.
1271
01:05:19,875 --> 01:05:22,083
Your martini, signora. No ice.
1272
01:05:22,666 --> 01:05:23,708
Thank you.
1273
01:06:07,416 --> 01:06:09,832
Are you
fucking drunk? Put down the gun.
1274
01:06:09,833 --> 01:06:13,208
Put down
the gun! Put down the gun!
1275
01:06:16,208 --> 01:06:18,041
Put down the gun!
1276
01:06:30,708 --> 01:06:32,083
Help!
1277
01:06:33,541 --> 01:06:36,165
Help! Help! Help!
1278
01:06:36,166 --> 01:06:37,999
We need help! We
need an ambulance!
1279
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:39,457
- Are you okay? What happened?
- Dante!
1280
01:06:39,458 --> 01:06:40,665
Dante's in there!
1281
01:06:45,125 --> 01:06:46,332
What
are you doing here?
1282
01:06:46,333 --> 01:06:48,915
Go there! Get him out!
1283
01:06:48,916 --> 01:06:50,707
What
do you know about this?
1284
01:06:50,708 --> 01:06:51,999
What do you know about this?!
1285
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:53,749
Nothing! No, he was
here five minutes ago!
1286
01:06:53,750 --> 01:06:55,457
I-I... Stephanie,
what did you see?
1287
01:06:55,458 --> 01:06:58,124
Um, uh, he was arguing with someone,
and I couldn't see anything,
1288
01:06:58,125 --> 01:07:00,290
and then they started shooting him,
and they just kept shooting him,
1289
01:07:00,291 --> 01:07:01,707
- then it exploded!
- Someone shot my son?
1290
01:07:01,708 --> 01:07:03,624
- Wait, who was he fighting with?
- I don't know.
1291
01:07:03,625 --> 01:07:05,290
- You didn't see?
- No, I couldn't.
1292
01:07:05,291 --> 01:07:06,790
- You didn't see anything?
- No.
1293
01:07:06,791 --> 01:07:07,874
- Nothing?
- No!
1294
01:07:07,875 --> 01:07:09,207
No.
1295
01:07:30,583 --> 01:07:34,957
You tricked him into
giving you everything.
1296
01:07:34,958 --> 01:07:37,915
And then this happens?
1297
01:07:37,916 --> 01:07:40,291
One hour later?
1298
01:07:41,291 --> 01:07:42,790
- Coincidence?
- No, no, no, no.
1299
01:07:42,791 --> 01:07:45,374
She was with me this entire
time watching the fireworks.
1300
01:07:45,375 --> 01:07:47,332
She couldn't have
done this, I swear.
1301
01:07:47,333 --> 01:07:48,540
You don't say that.
1302
01:07:48,541 --> 01:07:50,374
I loved him so much.
Don't say that.
1303
01:07:50,375 --> 01:07:53,165
And excuse me, but any
number of people here
1304
01:07:53,166 --> 01:07:54,624
would have reasons to kill him.
1305
01:07:54,625 --> 01:07:57,249
Isn't half this
place a-a rival gang?
1306
01:07:58,958 --> 01:08:01,541
I would never kill Dante! I...
1307
01:08:04,291 --> 01:08:07,082
We drank to our truce.
1308
01:08:07,083 --> 01:08:08,874
I made a vow.
1309
01:08:08,875 --> 01:08:11,875
The Bartolos never back
down on their word.
1310
01:08:14,083 --> 01:08:17,499
So... so...
1311
01:08:17,500 --> 01:08:20,583
who killed my Dante?!
1312
01:08:36,250 --> 01:08:38,790
And that's
how we got here, moms.
1313
01:08:38,791 --> 01:08:41,249
Uh, me under house arrest,
1314
01:08:41,250 --> 01:08:43,583
Sean's dead, Dante's dead.
1315
01:08:44,583 --> 01:08:48,165
Emily's acting... creepy.
1316
01:08:48,166 --> 01:08:50,166
I mean, creepier than normal.
1317
01:08:50,916 --> 01:08:53,915
I don't know why anybody would
think I would want to kill Dante.
1318
01:08:53,916 --> 01:08:55,374
Just...
1319
01:08:55,375 --> 01:08:57,249
Yes, thank you for
the suggestion.
1320
01:08:57,250 --> 01:08:59,874
I've actually checked. I can't
climb down off the balcony.
1321
01:08:59,875 --> 01:09:02,041
I...
1322
01:09:03,708 --> 01:09:05,207
Yes, I know.
1323
01:09:05,208 --> 01:09:06,374
Before you say it, I...
1324
01:09:06,375 --> 01:09:07,874
Hey, hey, hey, listen to me.
1325
01:09:07,875 --> 01:09:09,791
Miles was expelled from camp.
1326
01:09:10,458 --> 01:09:11,790
He's... he's what?
1327
01:09:11,791 --> 01:09:12,915
Expelled.
1328
01:09:12,916 --> 01:09:16,082
Excommunicated from the
Tribe of Minnetonka.
1329
01:09:16,083 --> 01:09:19,832
And yes, those are the words
that camp counselor Val used.
1330
01:09:19,833 --> 01:09:21,415
That woman is a cultural moron.
1331
01:09:21,416 --> 01:09:22,707
What happened?
1332
01:09:22,708 --> 01:09:24,874
He took a
ski boat joyriding.
1333
01:09:24,875 --> 01:09:26,374
He doesn't know anything about
boats. How could he even...
1334
01:09:26,375 --> 01:09:28,499
- He hot-wired it.
- Great, yeah.
1335
01:09:28,500 --> 01:09:30,207
Goddamn Grand Theft
Auto, I swear to God.
1336
01:09:30,208 --> 01:09:32,665
Some kids were making fun
of your show, and then
1337
01:09:32,666 --> 01:09:34,165
they dared him to
steal the boat.
1338
01:09:34,166 --> 01:09:35,624
Perfect. This is great.
1339
01:09:35,625 --> 01:09:38,374
I'm in Capri, and my son's a
felon, and I'm under arrest.
1340
01:09:38,375 --> 01:09:40,207
- This-this is perfect.
- Okay, stop that.
1341
01:09:40,208 --> 01:09:41,665
I'm on my way to pick
him up right now.
1342
01:09:41,666 --> 01:09:43,499
No, okay. Just tell me...
1343
01:09:43,500 --> 01:09:45,124
Wait, Stephanie, did
you say you're under arrest?
1344
01:09:45,125 --> 01:09:46,207
Stephanie? Stephanie?
1345
01:09:46,208 --> 01:09:47,415
Did you find a...
1346
01:09:47,416 --> 01:09:48,957
What is she doing here?
1347
01:09:48,958 --> 01:09:51,332
I'm here to help in
whatever way I can.
1348
01:09:51,333 --> 01:09:54,374
- Uh-huh, I'll bet you are.
- Our investigation is ongoing.
1349
01:09:54,375 --> 01:09:57,625
Until it's finished, I'm going to
need your passport and your phone.
1350
01:09:58,333 --> 01:10:00,540
No, my-my, uh, kid just
got expelled from camp,
1351
01:10:00,541 --> 01:10:02,290
so I-I can't be offline.
1352
01:10:02,291 --> 01:10:04,165
Of course, yes. We
noticed that these murders
1353
01:10:04,166 --> 01:10:07,832
have increased your subscriber
numbers significantly.
1354
01:10:07,833 --> 01:10:11,082
Just heartless and cold to
profit off this kind of tragedy.
1355
01:10:11,083 --> 01:10:12,999
When did you get so
invested, Aunt Linda?
1356
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:17,332
Wh... When you ruined my niece's
life for the second time.
1357
01:10:17,333 --> 01:10:18,499
Are you an idiot?
1358
01:10:18,500 --> 01:10:20,915
Are you not following
what's going on here?
1359
01:10:20,916 --> 01:10:22,624
Your phone, please.
1360
01:10:25,750 --> 01:10:26,750
And your passport.
1361
01:10:28,333 --> 01:10:30,207
Emily knows I didn't do this.
1362
01:10:30,208 --> 01:10:32,290
I've never even held
a gun. Well, one time.
1363
01:10:32,291 --> 01:10:33,707
That was different.
They were blanks.
1364
01:10:33,708 --> 01:10:35,249
You leave her alone.
1365
01:10:35,250 --> 01:10:38,749
Opportunists like you aren't
gonna take advantage of her again.
1366
01:10:38,750 --> 01:10:40,874
She made me come here.
1367
01:10:40,875 --> 01:10:42,374
Don't even bother.
1368
01:10:42,375 --> 01:10:44,749
From what I understand, you've
always been jealous of Emily.
1369
01:10:44,750 --> 01:10:47,457
You probably have some
sick, twisted crush on her.
1370
01:10:47,458 --> 01:10:48,582
Shame on you!
1371
01:10:48,583 --> 01:10:50,125
Your passport.
1372
01:10:56,375 --> 01:10:58,082
You will be hearing
from my lawyers
1373
01:10:58,083 --> 01:11:02,124
as soon as I figure out
how to get a lawyer.
1374
01:11:02,125 --> 01:11:04,374
First you will need someone
willing to represent
1375
01:11:04,375 --> 01:11:07,458
the woman accused of killing
the head of Familia Versano.
1376
01:11:13,166 --> 01:11:14,999
Leave us.
1377
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:17,291
I'd like Stephanie alone.
1378
01:11:18,458 --> 01:11:21,499
Hon, you don't have to do this.
1379
01:11:21,500 --> 01:11:23,290
No, I want to.
1380
01:11:23,291 --> 01:11:24,790
Signor Lucchese, please.
1381
01:11:24,791 --> 01:11:27,374
I'd hate to have to involve my
new mother-in-law and family.
1382
01:11:27,375 --> 01:11:29,250
You may go now.
1383
01:11:29,958 --> 01:11:32,666
We'll... be right outside.
1384
01:11:33,666 --> 01:11:34,832
Please be careful.
1385
01:11:34,833 --> 01:11:36,415
Thanks.
1386
01:11:36,416 --> 01:11:38,500
- Take this.
- Mm.
1387
01:11:46,375 --> 01:11:48,624
Corpse Bride, are you for real?
1388
01:11:48,625 --> 01:11:49,958
Is she for real?
1389
01:11:51,916 --> 01:11:54,040
The moral condemnations and
her folksy little sayings?
1390
01:11:54,041 --> 01:11:55,499
I know you two know each other.
1391
01:11:55,500 --> 01:11:57,207
I don't know if you're
working together.
1392
01:11:57,208 --> 01:11:58,500
What is the game here?
1393
01:11:59,333 --> 01:12:02,000
This isn't a game
for me, Stephanie.
1394
01:12:03,375 --> 01:12:06,915
All I ever wanted was
someone who was mine.
1395
01:12:06,916 --> 01:12:08,500
But you took that from me.
1396
01:12:09,916 --> 01:12:11,707
Time and time again.
1397
01:12:11,708 --> 01:12:15,124
And you tell me I
don't get to feel pain.
1398
01:12:15,125 --> 01:12:17,957
What are you talking about?
What-what are you doing?
1399
01:12:17,958 --> 01:12:21,957
I had to tell Detective
Lucchese everything.
1400
01:12:21,958 --> 01:12:24,374
I'm sorry. I
couldn't keep lying.
1401
01:12:24,375 --> 01:12:27,582
That has never been
a problem for you before.
1402
01:12:27,583 --> 01:12:30,832
The key to the shackles
of deceit is truth.
1403
01:12:30,833 --> 01:12:32,665
And what truth is that exactly?
1404
01:12:38,000 --> 01:12:41,707
The night Sean died, you
were late to the pool.
1405
01:12:41,708 --> 01:12:43,790
I wasn't late. You were early.
1406
01:12:43,791 --> 01:12:48,666
I thought you were doing it to
protect me 'cause he was so awful.
1407
01:12:49,708 --> 01:12:52,000
But you were just using me.
1408
01:12:53,583 --> 01:12:56,540
For your sick revenge
against poor Sean.
1409
01:12:56,541 --> 01:12:59,082
I didn't kill Sean. You
know I didn't kill Sean.
1410
01:12:59,083 --> 01:13:01,332
I didn't think you
would do it again,
1411
01:13:01,333 --> 01:13:04,374
but then you killed my Dante.
1412
01:13:04,375 --> 01:13:06,124
What is happening?
1413
01:13:06,125 --> 01:13:08,499
Is this why you brought me to
the wedding? What are you doing?
1414
01:13:08,500 --> 01:13:10,165
Stephanie, please stop.
1415
01:13:10,166 --> 01:13:11,750
Jesus Christ.
1416
01:13:12,750 --> 01:13:14,707
Stop.
1417
01:13:14,708 --> 01:13:17,124
You hurt me, but I'm
trying to help you.
1418
01:13:17,125 --> 01:13:19,708
Just tell the police
everything. They already know.
1419
01:13:20,541 --> 01:13:21,832
You can confess,
1420
01:13:21,833 --> 01:13:24,250
they'll make a deal, and
you can see your son again.
1421
01:13:25,083 --> 01:13:27,499
I'm doing this for you.
1422
01:13:27,500 --> 01:13:30,499
You told me once you loved me,
1423
01:13:30,500 --> 01:13:34,082
and I take that kind of
declaration very seriously.
1424
01:13:34,083 --> 01:13:36,541
I never s... I never
said I loved you.
1425
01:13:40,125 --> 01:13:41,291
Who are you?
1426
01:13:41,875 --> 01:13:43,875
You broke my heart, Stephanie.
1427
01:13:47,625 --> 01:13:48,874
You're not Emily.
1428
01:13:48,875 --> 01:13:50,874
Oh, you sound crazy.
1429
01:13:50,875 --> 01:13:52,165
You're not Faith.
1430
01:13:52,166 --> 01:13:53,415
I saw Faith's body
at the morgue.
1431
01:13:53,416 --> 01:13:55,915
- You can't be Faith.
- No, stop.
1432
01:13:55,916 --> 01:13:58,540
Stop. You're scaring me.
1433
01:13:58,541 --> 01:14:01,458
You're scaring me now, and
I don't like to be scared.
1434
01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:04,415
The police are right outside.
1435
01:14:04,416 --> 01:14:06,958
I know.
1436
01:14:09,708 --> 01:14:12,041
Emily!
1437
01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:16,457
Emily!
1438
01:14:16,458 --> 01:14:17,957
I know who you are.
1439
01:14:17,958 --> 01:14:20,332
You think I don't know who you
are?! I fucking know who you are!
1440
01:14:20,333 --> 01:14:22,957
Signora Smothers, you will
remain under house arrest
1441
01:14:22,958 --> 01:14:26,040
for your own safety, in the
event the Versanos overreact.
1442
01:14:26,041 --> 01:14:27,624
Oh, she
tried to kill me.
1443
01:14:27,625 --> 01:14:29,082
Get the fuck off me!
1444
01:14:29,083 --> 01:14:30,290
What have you done?!
1445
01:14:30,291 --> 01:14:32,165
Don't let her get away with it!
1446
01:14:32,166 --> 01:14:33,624
You think I don't know
what's happening?!
1447
01:14:33,625 --> 01:14:35,749
- I fucking know what's happening!
- Don't!
1448
01:14:35,750 --> 01:14:36,874
Fucking psycho!
1449
01:14:36,875 --> 01:14:38,999
What have you done?
What have you done?!
1450
01:14:56,583 --> 01:14:57,916
Who are you?
1451
01:15:01,541 --> 01:15:03,082
You work for the Mafia?
You're here to kill me?
1452
01:15:03,083 --> 01:15:05,499
I am to say "Irene sent me."
1453
01:15:05,500 --> 01:15:06,665
- Irene?
- Yeah.
1454
01:15:06,666 --> 01:15:07,915
Oh, God.
1455
01:15:07,916 --> 01:15:10,332
Uh, are you FBI, too?
1456
01:15:10,333 --> 01:15:12,165
No. She paid me money.
1457
01:15:12,166 --> 01:15:13,957
- And screw the police.
- Yeah.
1458
01:15:13,958 --> 01:15:16,957
They arrest my
husband. And for what?
1459
01:15:16,958 --> 01:15:19,082
He doesn't steal those chickens.
1460
01:15:19,083 --> 01:15:20,499
Just borrows.
1461
01:15:20,500 --> 01:15:22,000
Got it.
1462
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:24,832
She will meet you here.
1463
01:15:24,833 --> 01:15:27,082
Great. Um, what's the plan
to get me out of here?
1464
01:15:27,083 --> 01:15:28,582
'Cause the cops
are right outside.
1465
01:15:28,583 --> 01:15:31,415
I don't know. She only paid
me to deliver the note.
1466
01:15:31,416 --> 01:15:32,665
Okay.
1467
01:15:32,666 --> 01:15:33,749
Where's your cart?
1468
01:15:33,750 --> 01:15:35,874
In the hall next to the police.
1469
01:15:35,875 --> 01:15:37,582
Um, grab your cart,
and-and I'll get inside,
1470
01:15:37,583 --> 01:15:38,874
and you can just roll me past.
1471
01:15:38,875 --> 01:15:40,290
Okay. Mm-hmm.
1472
01:15:40,291 --> 01:15:41,958
- Okay.
- Why not?
1473
01:15:49,333 --> 01:15:52,832
Okay, um, so I need to hide,
1474
01:15:52,833 --> 01:15:55,415
and this is see-through.
1475
01:15:55,416 --> 01:15:56,874
This is my cart.
1476
01:15:56,875 --> 01:15:59,041
You can hide in it. Look.
1477
01:15:59,750 --> 01:16:00,749
Debatable.
1478
01:16:00,750 --> 01:16:04,833
Um, do you have one
that is not see-through?
1479
01:16:13,333 --> 01:16:14,582
Wow, um...
1480
01:16:14,583 --> 01:16:16,457
uh, do you understand English?
1481
01:16:16,458 --> 01:16:19,000
Of course I do. I'm
talking to you right now.
1482
01:16:19,750 --> 01:16:20,874
So true.
1483
01:16:20,875 --> 01:16:23,582
Um... okay.
1484
01:16:23,583 --> 01:16:28,125
I need a cart that you can't
see through so I can hide.
1485
01:16:29,125 --> 01:16:31,500
All
of this for ten euro.
1486
01:16:47,791 --> 01:16:48,791
What are you looking at?
1487
01:16:49,833 --> 01:16:51,375
Go clean something.
1488
01:16:51,666 --> 01:16:54,791
Maybe I'll go steal
me a nice chicken.
1489
01:17:16,791 --> 01:17:20,082
There's a room I need
to find with an old lady in silk pajamas.
1490
01:17:20,083 --> 01:17:21,749
Fake hair?
Drinks all day?
1491
01:17:21,750 --> 01:17:23,165
Yeah.
1492
01:17:23,166 --> 01:17:24,666
Come with me.
1493
01:17:43,291 --> 01:17:44,833
Speak English!
1494
01:17:46,541 --> 01:17:49,915
No one can understand
what you're saying.
1495
01:17:49,916 --> 01:17:51,374
Bruce!
1496
01:17:54,458 --> 01:17:55,832
Bruce!
1497
01:17:55,833 --> 01:17:57,416
The television is broken.
1498
01:18:03,166 --> 01:18:04,249
Hello.
1499
01:18:04,250 --> 01:18:05,958
Hello, Margaret.
1500
01:18:06,958 --> 01:18:09,332
Oh.
1501
01:18:09,333 --> 01:18:11,207
You're Hope's
friend, aren't you?
1502
01:18:11,208 --> 01:18:13,457
That insurance agent.
1503
01:18:13,458 --> 01:18:15,582
I'm still waiting on that check.
1504
01:18:15,583 --> 01:18:16,957
Uh, right.
1505
01:18:16,958 --> 01:18:20,957
Uh, the... the check's coming.
1506
01:18:20,958 --> 01:18:23,332
Oh, yeah, the check
is on the way.
1507
01:18:23,333 --> 01:18:24,499
Um...
1508
01:18:24,500 --> 01:18:25,707
Oh, no, don't...
1509
01:18:25,708 --> 01:18:28,915
I-I wanted to ask you about
1510
01:18:28,916 --> 01:18:31,875
Hope and Faith's
triplet, Charity.
1511
01:18:33,041 --> 01:18:35,040
The one who didn't survive.
1512
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:39,125
She's here.
1513
01:18:40,875 --> 01:18:42,415
I saw her.
1514
01:18:42,416 --> 01:18:45,874
Just creeping around in
the shadows in a bad wig.
1515
01:18:45,875 --> 01:18:47,832
But I saw her.
1516
01:18:47,833 --> 01:18:49,707
I saw her.
1517
01:18:49,708 --> 01:18:52,875
And I just know that
that's my little angel.
1518
01:18:53,458 --> 01:18:56,833
Why does everyone
think she died?
1519
01:18:57,541 --> 01:18:59,500
Because she did die.
1520
01:19:01,291 --> 01:19:04,916
And Linda sent her soul to Hell.
1521
01:19:08,125 --> 01:19:10,249
Oh. Oh, oh, no. No, thank you.
1522
01:19:10,250 --> 01:19:11,665
- Have a look.
- Oh, it's...
1523
01:19:11,666 --> 01:19:13,125
That's really cool.
1524
01:19:13,916 --> 01:19:15,999
You know, Linda
delivered the triplets.
1525
01:19:20,583 --> 01:19:23,207
Hope and
Faith first, and...
1526
01:19:25,958 --> 01:19:28,040
...and then the third baby
1527
01:19:28,041 --> 01:19:29,750
came out dead.
1528
01:19:31,291 --> 01:19:33,041
Cord wrapped around her neck.
1529
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:36,165
The other two were holding it.
1530
01:19:36,166 --> 01:19:39,333
They strangled my
Charity in the womb.
1531
01:19:39,958 --> 01:19:42,333
Their own sister.
Can you imagine?
1532
01:19:45,958 --> 01:19:48,832
Then she took that
poor little pure body
1533
01:19:48,833 --> 01:19:52,541
and cremated it before I
even had a chance to see her.
1534
01:19:53,333 --> 01:19:56,165
You know, before I
could even call a priest
1535
01:19:56,166 --> 01:19:59,666
to bless her poor departed
soul, she was gone.
1536
01:20:04,875 --> 01:20:06,416
Linda stole the baby.
1537
01:20:07,458 --> 01:20:09,082
But now
1538
01:20:09,083 --> 01:20:11,707
God has brought
Charity back to me.
1539
01:20:11,708 --> 01:20:14,124
He went down into Hell,
and he brought her back.
1540
01:20:15,208 --> 01:20:16,791
You saw her.
1541
01:20:18,083 --> 01:20:22,040
And Charity will visit
God's wrath on Linda
1542
01:20:22,041 --> 01:20:24,624
for not giving her
a Christian burial.
1543
01:20:24,625 --> 01:20:27,875
She is the hammer
of the Almighty!
1544
01:20:28,833 --> 01:20:30,166
Boop.
1545
01:20:30,958 --> 01:20:34,374
Hmm. They're gonna punish
Hope, too.
1546
01:20:34,375 --> 01:20:36,457
Yeah, you'll see.
1547
01:20:36,458 --> 01:20:38,833
You'll see.
1548
01:20:42,625 --> 01:20:44,082
Uh, I need your phone.
1549
01:20:44,083 --> 01:20:45,124
Your, uh, "telephone-o."
1550
01:20:45,125 --> 01:20:46,457
I know what a telephone is.
1551
01:20:46,458 --> 01:20:47,749
Okay, it's an "emergencia."
1552
01:20:47,750 --> 01:20:49,082
Stop speaking Italian!
1553
01:20:49,083 --> 01:20:50,874
- I know what...
- Oh, my God.
1554
01:20:50,875 --> 01:20:52,165
Grazie! Grazie!
1555
01:20:52,166 --> 01:20:53,374
Please! It's mine!
1556
01:20:53,375 --> 01:20:55,374
That's my telephone!
1557
01:20:55,375 --> 01:20:58,999
All my secrets are in there!
1558
01:21:06,625 --> 01:21:08,000
Move.
1559
01:21:52,250 --> 01:21:53,499
Find her.
1560
01:21:56,791 --> 01:21:58,499
Shit.
1561
01:22:00,500 --> 01:22:02,707
No, I know that they're
Capri bells, but that little
1562
01:22:02,708 --> 01:22:05,082
jingling noise is gonna
drive me up a fucking wall,
1563
01:22:05,083 --> 01:22:06,624
- so do you have anything more silent?
- Vicky. Vicky.
1564
01:22:06,625 --> 01:22:07,707
Yes.
1565
01:22:07,708 --> 01:22:08,915
Vicky. Oh, my God.
1566
01:22:10,958 --> 01:22:12,499
Ben!
1567
01:22:12,500 --> 01:22:13,999
Stephanie, where are you?
1568
01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:15,999
- I've been calling.
- I'm under arrest.
1569
01:22:16,000 --> 01:22:17,374
Or I-I was.
1570
01:22:17,375 --> 01:22:19,457
Or I... well, I
escaped, basically.
1571
01:22:19,458 --> 01:22:21,249
The Mob is sort
of after me, so...
1572
01:22:21,250 --> 01:22:22,582
The FBI is aware
1573
01:22:22,583 --> 01:22:24,582
of your situation and prepared
to get you out of there.
1574
01:22:24,583 --> 01:22:26,165
Oh, thank God. Okay.
1575
01:22:26,166 --> 01:22:29,415
Now, look, Linda McLanden
is extremely dangerous.
1576
01:22:29,416 --> 01:22:31,582
She's connected to several
unexplained deaths,
1577
01:22:31,583 --> 01:22:33,624
all of them men she's conned.
1578
01:22:33,625 --> 01:22:35,582
Now, the FBI, they got
somebody out there.
1579
01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:37,665
Yeah, uh, Agent Irene Walker.
1580
01:22:37,666 --> 01:22:39,040
Not their finest.
1581
01:22:39,041 --> 01:22:40,332
Well, she's aware
of your situation.
1582
01:22:40,333 --> 01:22:43,374
She's gonna get you to a safe house
Interpol has set up on the island.
1583
01:22:43,375 --> 01:22:45,332
She'll keep you safe until
we can get you out of there.
1584
01:22:45,333 --> 01:22:46,790
No, I-I'm going to
meet her right now.
1585
01:22:46,791 --> 01:22:49,040
Great. I'll let
Interpol know. Oh.
1586
01:22:49,041 --> 01:22:52,081
- Call me when you're in the house.
- I will. I will. I will. I will. I will.
1587
01:22:53,458 --> 01:22:55,040
Stephanie!
1588
01:22:55,041 --> 01:22:56,457
Hey. I'm here.
1589
01:22:56,458 --> 01:22:57,457
- You see her?
- Oh, holy shit,
1590
01:22:57,458 --> 01:22:58,499
this woman's gonna
get me killed.
1591
01:22:58,500 --> 01:22:59,582
Okay, if I don't die,
1592
01:22:59,583 --> 01:23:00,749
- I'll talk to you later.
- Steph, what is she...
1593
01:23:00,750 --> 01:23:02,874
Oh, my God, cute sweater.
Did you buy that here?
1594
01:23:02,875 --> 01:23:04,749
Could you be drawing more
attention to yourself?
1595
01:23:04,750 --> 01:23:06,915
Oh, sorry. I'm just
so glad you're alive.
1596
01:23:06,916 --> 01:23:08,165
Me, too.
1597
01:23:08,166 --> 01:23:10,082
Um, Linda is working with
Emily's dead sister Char...
1598
01:23:10,083 --> 01:23:11,707
well, uh, she...
Charity's not dead.
1599
01:23:11,708 --> 01:23:13,749
She's pretending to be Emily,
and they're trying to frame me,
1600
01:23:13,750 --> 01:23:15,374
- and so now the Mob is after me.
- Hey, it is okay. It is ok...
1601
01:23:15,375 --> 01:23:16,457
- We need to keep a low profile.
- Listen. Hey.
1602
01:23:16,458 --> 01:23:17,749
- You're in good hands.
- Okay.
1603
01:23:17,750 --> 01:23:19,582
Okay? Let's get to the safe house.
You can tell me all about it.
1604
01:23:19,583 --> 01:23:21,791
- Okay.
- I've got your back...
1605
01:23:22,375 --> 01:23:23,457
Did you bite your tongue?
1606
01:23:24,500 --> 01:23:25,874
Oh, I hate when that happens.
1607
01:23:25,875 --> 01:23:28,375
Are you okay?
1608
01:23:30,416 --> 01:23:33,041
Knife! Knife!
1609
01:23:34,458 --> 01:23:36,040
Knife! Knife!
1610
01:23:36,041 --> 01:23:38,832
Murderer! Murderer!
1611
01:23:38,833 --> 01:23:40,832
Oh,
you fucking bitch. No!
1612
01:23:40,833 --> 01:23:43,124
Murderer!
1613
01:23:43,125 --> 01:23:46,332
I didn't do
anything! I didn't do anything...
1614
01:23:46,333 --> 01:23:48,166
Are you serious?
1615
01:23:57,083 --> 01:23:58,082
Ay.
1616
01:23:58,083 --> 01:24:02,415
Linda, why has no one come
to fix the television?
1617
01:24:02,416 --> 01:24:04,624
I don't know. It's
fucking Italy!
1618
01:24:04,625 --> 01:24:06,374
That's all I'm
hearing.
1619
01:24:06,375 --> 01:24:07,874
It's driving me crazy.
1620
01:24:07,875 --> 01:24:11,415
I thought maybe Bruce could
fix it or Hope's friend,
1621
01:24:11,416 --> 01:24:13,499
but no, they're gone.
1622
01:24:13,500 --> 01:24:15,290
Wait, was Stephanie just here?
1623
01:24:15,291 --> 01:24:16,790
Listen.
1624
01:24:16,791 --> 01:24:18,832
Popeye sounds like
he's speaking Italian.
1625
01:24:18,833 --> 01:24:21,499
Margaret! Focus that
gin-pickled brain of yours.
1626
01:24:21,500 --> 01:24:23,208
Was
Stephanie just here?
1627
01:24:23,791 --> 01:24:25,290
I just said she was.
1628
01:24:25,291 --> 01:24:27,415
Did you talk to her?
1629
01:24:27,416 --> 01:24:29,624
Yeah, there's something
off about that girl,
1630
01:24:29,625 --> 01:24:32,290
and it's not just because she's
a terrible insurance agent.
1631
01:24:32,291 --> 01:24:34,290
- Margaret, what... Shut up!
- Is she 12?
1632
01:24:34,291 --> 01:24:36,707
Did you talk to her?
What did you say to her?
1633
01:24:36,708 --> 01:24:37,915
What did you say?
1634
01:24:37,916 --> 01:24:39,665
Well, I told her everything.
1635
01:24:39,666 --> 01:24:42,915
- What do you mean?
- All about Charity.
1636
01:24:42,916 --> 01:24:44,165
Yeah.
1637
01:24:44,166 --> 01:24:45,999
She knows what you did,
1638
01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:48,457
and she's gonna tell
the whole world,
1639
01:24:48,458 --> 01:24:50,124
and then so will I,
1640
01:24:50,125 --> 01:24:54,708
and then you are going
to rot in Hell, Linda.
1641
01:24:55,750 --> 01:24:58,040
That's unfortunate, Margaret.
1642
01:24:58,041 --> 01:25:01,207
God knows what you
did to Charity,
1643
01:25:01,208 --> 01:25:04,166
and he will punish you.
1644
01:25:06,791 --> 01:25:08,291
Shit.
1645
01:25:10,708 --> 01:25:12,582
You should thank me.
1646
01:25:12,583 --> 01:25:15,624
I gave Charity a much better life
than she would've had with you.
1647
01:25:15,625 --> 01:25:19,916
And unlike your girls, she
never ran away from me.
1648
01:25:20,958 --> 01:25:23,707
Kids are valuable in
my line of work, sis.
1649
01:25:23,708 --> 01:25:25,915
Everyone trusts kids.
1650
01:25:25,916 --> 01:25:28,207
And there's nothing like
working with family.
1651
01:25:35,666 --> 01:25:36,916
Right?
1652
01:25:45,958 --> 01:25:48,083
Gosh darn it.
1653
01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:09,333
Who's there?
1654
01:26:12,791 --> 01:26:14,625
Mrs. Versano, hi.
1655
01:26:15,666 --> 01:26:17,208
Um...
1656
01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:24,082
Uh, this is a really
nice... basement.
1657
01:26:24,083 --> 01:26:26,707
It's a little spinny, but, um...
1658
01:26:26,708 --> 01:26:28,874
Look, I think there's
been...
1659
01:26:28,875 --> 01:26:30,415
a huge mistake.
1660
01:26:30,416 --> 01:26:32,083
- Okay?
- Yes.
1661
01:26:32,708 --> 01:26:34,375
You killed my only son.
1662
01:26:35,416 --> 01:26:37,375
I didn't. I swear
to God, I didn't.
1663
01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:40,625
I didn't even know him.
Why would I kill him?
1664
01:26:42,083 --> 01:26:44,958
That's what I'm
here to find out.
1665
01:26:45,833 --> 01:26:47,125
Um, what's that?
1666
01:26:48,000 --> 01:26:50,457
Whatever that is, I think, um,
we don't need it, you know?
1667
01:26:50,458 --> 01:26:51,625
We can just talk.
1668
01:26:52,916 --> 01:26:55,375
Sodium thiopental.
1669
01:26:56,416 --> 01:26:58,207
Okay, truth serum is not...
1670
01:26:58,208 --> 01:27:00,957
I-I sort of work with law enforcement,
and that's not gonna do anything
1671
01:27:00,958 --> 01:27:04,125
other than get me really
fucking high, so...
1672
01:27:10,708 --> 01:27:12,291
Okay!
1673
01:27:18,500 --> 01:27:20,290
My compliments to
the chef.
1674
01:27:20,291 --> 01:27:21,749
Yes.
1675
01:27:21,750 --> 01:27:23,624
It works quickly.
1676
01:27:23,625 --> 01:27:25,040
You said it, sister.
1677
01:27:25,041 --> 01:27:27,290
- I used it on my husband once.
- No way.
1678
01:27:27,291 --> 01:27:30,375
Yeah, to find out
who he was fucking.
1679
01:27:31,583 --> 01:27:34,540
But there were so many
names. He wouldn't stop.
1680
01:27:34,541 --> 01:27:36,540
Do you want to know
who I'm fucking?
1681
01:27:36,541 --> 01:27:38,665
It's this guy named nobody.
1682
01:27:38,666 --> 01:27:40,332
Nada.
1683
01:27:40,333 --> 01:27:42,374
- Niente.
- Let's stick to the subject.
1684
01:27:42,375 --> 01:27:44,790
Okay. Okay.
1685
01:27:44,791 --> 01:27:46,457
So I was seeing this
guy in the city,
1686
01:27:46,458 --> 01:27:48,499
and then when I didn't put him in
the acknowledgements for my book,
1687
01:27:48,500 --> 01:27:49,707
he just broke it off.
Can you believe that?
1688
01:27:49,708 --> 01:27:51,249
Why did you kill my son?!
1689
01:27:51,250 --> 01:27:52,624
I didn't.
1690
01:27:52,625 --> 01:27:54,957
It was Emily's triplet, Charity.
1691
01:27:54,958 --> 01:27:56,874
She's been here the whole
time. Can you believe that?
1692
01:27:58,500 --> 01:28:00,124
I think she killed Sean, too.
1693
01:28:00,125 --> 01:28:02,957
And an FBI agent. Mm.
1694
01:28:02,958 --> 01:28:04,915
A really stupid one.
1695
01:28:04,916 --> 01:28:06,457
Hey, I read your book.
1696
01:28:07,916 --> 01:28:09,499
Tabloid garbage.
1697
01:28:09,500 --> 01:28:11,290
I know the triplet is dead.
1698
01:28:11,291 --> 01:28:13,124
Oh, my God.
1699
01:28:13,125 --> 01:28:15,291
Everyone's a critic.
1700
01:28:15,875 --> 01:28:20,290
No, no, no. Charity was
dead, but she wasn't.
1701
01:28:20,291 --> 01:28:22,791
She was, um, she was
the opposite of dead.
1702
01:28:23,375 --> 01:28:25,124
She was undead.
Not like a zombie.
1703
01:28:25,125 --> 01:28:27,374
She was just, um, she
was just, like, alive.
1704
01:28:27,375 --> 01:28:29,707
She probably
killed Emily.
1705
01:28:29,708 --> 01:28:33,415
- Aw.
- This jumble of words makes no sense!
1706
01:28:33,416 --> 01:28:35,207
What aren't you telling me?
1707
01:28:35,208 --> 01:28:37,540
You're holding something back.
1708
01:28:37,541 --> 01:28:39,082
Please don't make me say.
1709
01:28:39,083 --> 01:28:40,666
Tell me.
1710
01:28:42,375 --> 01:28:44,040
Tell me.
1711
01:28:44,041 --> 01:28:45,165
Okay.
1712
01:28:45,166 --> 01:28:48,249
I knew I would be the best PTA president,
so I stuffed the ballot box with my name,
1713
01:28:48,250 --> 01:28:50,707
but it shouldn't be a popularity
contest, and Stacy's had it out for me...
1714
01:28:50,708 --> 01:28:52,624
No, we're talking about Olivia!
1715
01:28:52,625 --> 01:28:53,749
Emily.
1716
01:28:53,750 --> 01:28:55,124
Hope McLanden.
1717
01:28:55,125 --> 01:28:56,916
Whatever fucking name she uses.
1718
01:28:58,708 --> 01:29:00,000
I did it.
1719
01:29:01,250 --> 01:29:02,416
I killed him.
1720
01:29:05,166 --> 01:29:07,291
I knew you killed my Dante.
1721
01:29:07,875 --> 01:29:10,207
No.
1722
01:29:11,416 --> 01:29:13,124
Not Dante.
1723
01:29:13,125 --> 01:29:14,332
No.
1724
01:29:14,333 --> 01:29:16,957
Dante was so handsome.
1725
01:29:16,958 --> 01:29:19,375
I would've licked ice
cream off his face.
1726
01:29:21,291 --> 01:29:24,582
No, I killed the
gym teacher.
1727
01:29:24,583 --> 01:29:28,166
I mean, I didn't kill him, but
he killed himself because of me.
1728
01:29:28,916 --> 01:29:31,708
If I'm being honest,
I've killed so many men.
1729
01:29:32,708 --> 01:29:34,790
I don't know what
to do. They die.
1730
01:29:34,791 --> 01:29:37,458
They die if I love them. They
die if I don't love them.
1731
01:29:38,125 --> 01:29:40,457
I can't do anything.
1732
01:29:40,458 --> 01:29:41,832
I can't keep people alive.
1733
01:29:41,833 --> 01:29:44,624
I can't even solve
crimes anymore.
1734
01:29:44,625 --> 01:29:45,957
I just want it to stop.
1735
01:29:47,166 --> 01:29:48,874
Enough!
1736
01:29:48,875 --> 01:29:52,291
I know you had an arrangement
with Emily to kill my Dante.
1737
01:29:52,875 --> 01:29:53,915
Oh.
1738
01:29:53,916 --> 01:29:55,207
Was it for the money?
1739
01:29:55,208 --> 01:29:56,457
Money?
1740
01:29:56,458 --> 01:29:59,749
Or... or...
1741
01:29:59,750 --> 01:30:03,290
do you just have
some sick obsession
1742
01:30:03,291 --> 01:30:05,915
with that awful woman who
brought you into my life?
1743
01:30:05,916 --> 01:30:07,082
I am not obsessed with her.
1744
01:30:07,083 --> 01:30:09,374
I don't know why everybody
keeps saying that.
1745
01:30:09,375 --> 01:30:11,040
No.
1746
01:30:11,041 --> 01:30:13,499
No, I wouldn't
take money from Emily.
1747
01:30:13,500 --> 01:30:15,915
She's so... she's so
sort of...
1748
01:30:15,916 --> 01:30:18,082
twisty and confusing.
1749
01:30:18,083 --> 01:30:20,499
It's like she's always sort of very
serious, and then she'll laugh.
1750
01:30:20,500 --> 01:30:22,040
You know that
thing? I don't know.
1751
01:30:22,041 --> 01:30:23,457
I don't think she knows
what she's doing now
1752
01:30:23,458 --> 01:30:24,665
'cause she's not
the one doing it.
1753
01:30:24,666 --> 01:30:26,499
'Cause she's probably
dead. Keep up, sister.
1754
01:30:26,500 --> 01:30:28,207
It's
unbelievable. She is useless.
1755
01:30:28,208 --> 01:30:30,749
Did you see that
black dress she was wearing?
1756
01:30:30,750 --> 01:30:32,582
I was like, you... it was
just doing a lot, you know?
1757
01:30:32,583 --> 01:30:34,499
When she walked in the room,
she was carrying a parasol.
1758
01:30:34,500 --> 01:30:37,165
- Girl, we are inside.
- She's crazy.
1759
01:30:37,166 --> 01:30:38,957
Kill her.
1760
01:30:38,958 --> 01:30:41,750
And make sure the
body is never found.
1761
01:30:42,958 --> 01:30:44,374
What'd she say?
1762
01:30:46,166 --> 01:30:48,666
Oh. Yeah. Okay.
1763
01:30:49,250 --> 01:30:51,082
Plastic sheeting
makes sense.
1764
01:30:51,083 --> 01:30:53,457
That's smart, you know?
Makes cleanup a breeze.
1765
01:30:53,458 --> 01:30:55,040
But she really mumbled
that last part,
1766
01:30:55,041 --> 01:30:57,290
so maybe you want to
double-check what she said,
1767
01:30:57,291 --> 01:30:59,457
'cause you might have
misheard her, you know?
1768
01:30:59,458 --> 01:31:03,082
I-I mean, up to you guys, but
that's sort of the thing about murder.
1769
01:31:03,083 --> 01:31:04,582
No takesies backsies.
1770
01:31:06,500 --> 01:31:07,624
What's happening?
1771
01:31:07,625 --> 01:31:08,832
Oh!
1772
01:31:08,833 --> 01:31:09,915
I'm fine!
1773
01:31:09,916 --> 01:31:11,500
{\an8}I just tipped over.
1774
01:31:15,208 --> 01:31:16,207
What's going on?
1775
01:31:16,208 --> 01:31:18,166
I can't see what's happening.
1776
01:31:19,250 --> 01:31:20,666
All righty.
1777
01:31:21,958 --> 01:31:24,875
- You good? You good?
- Oh, of course it's you.
1778
01:31:25,875 --> 01:31:28,332
You are so obsessed with me!
1779
01:31:28,333 --> 01:31:29,999
Stop! I need space.
1780
01:31:30,000 --> 01:31:31,790
You're being really clingy.
1781
01:31:32,875 --> 01:31:34,499
Did you
know Charity's alive?
1782
01:31:34,500 --> 01:31:36,624
She's killing everybody
you ever loved, girl.
1783
01:31:36,625 --> 01:31:37,707
I'm aware.
1784
01:31:37,708 --> 01:31:38,874
Oh, thank you.
1785
01:31:38,875 --> 01:31:40,290
Are you okay?
1786
01:31:40,291 --> 01:31:44,165
I know you're here 'cause you need me,
'cause I'm so smart and I'm so pretty.
1787
01:31:44,166 --> 01:31:46,290
'Cause Emily loves Stephanie!
1788
01:31:46,291 --> 01:31:47,874
Glad to have you back. You
enjoying that truth serum?
1789
01:31:47,875 --> 01:31:49,374
Oh. Wow!
1790
01:31:49,375 --> 01:31:51,124
- Let's get out of here.
- Okay.
1791
01:31:51,125 --> 01:31:53,332
- Come on.
- No. No. No!
1792
01:31:53,333 --> 01:31:54,707
- You could be Charity. No.
- We have to go.
1793
01:31:54,708 --> 01:31:56,207
Oh. You could be Charity.
1794
01:31:56,208 --> 01:31:57,582
- Prove that you're Emily. No.
- Stephanie, Stephanie.
1795
01:31:57,583 --> 01:31:59,040
Say something only
Emily would know.
1796
01:31:59,041 --> 01:32:00,624
- Prove you're Emily!
- We do not have time for this.
1797
01:32:00,625 --> 01:32:02,457
Prove it!
1798
01:32:02,458 --> 01:32:05,874
Brother-fucker, I told you
we do not have time for me
1799
01:32:05,875 --> 01:32:08,040
to detail the basement sex
you had with your half brother
1800
01:32:08,041 --> 01:32:09,790
who may or may not be
the father of your child.
1801
01:32:09,791 --> 01:32:11,249
I pray to God every day
1802
01:32:11,250 --> 01:32:13,040
that Miles doesn't see a
commercial for 23andMe.
1803
01:32:13,041 --> 01:32:14,332
All right, all right! We get it!
1804
01:32:14,333 --> 01:32:16,415
This isn't how you talk to
somebody you're in love with.
1805
01:32:16,416 --> 01:32:18,457
Why are we still
standing here? Let's go.
1806
01:32:18,458 --> 01:32:19,624
Let's go.
1807
01:32:19,625 --> 01:32:21,124
How did you do that?
1808
01:32:21,125 --> 01:32:23,499
Prison, bitch.
1809
01:32:26,583 --> 01:32:27,707
{\an8}Come on. Come on.
1810
01:32:27,708 --> 01:32:29,375
{\an8}- Oh, my God.
- Let's go.
1811
01:32:30,375 --> 01:32:32,082
- Why did they bring me to the ocean?
- Yeah, no, let's walk.
1812
01:32:32,083 --> 01:32:33,415
Yeah, face forward. Come on.
1813
01:32:33,416 --> 01:32:35,083
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
1814
01:32:37,458 --> 01:32:39,500
Oh, all right.
1815
01:32:53,666 --> 01:32:56,915
I think we need to
pull over or I'm gonna puke on your head.
1816
01:32:56,916 --> 01:32:58,832
Oh, God. Okay. No,
no, no. Don't do that.
1817
01:32:58,833 --> 01:33:00,500
Don't-don't do that.
1818
01:33:04,000 --> 01:33:05,499
- Oh, God.
- You done?
1819
01:33:05,500 --> 01:33:07,416
It's not like we have
the Mob after us.
1820
01:33:08,208 --> 01:33:09,665
I mean...
1821
01:33:09,666 --> 01:33:11,875
the good news is I'm not
high anymore, mostly.
1822
01:33:12,458 --> 01:33:14,457
Where the hell have you been?
1823
01:33:14,458 --> 01:33:16,790
I'm very glad Charity
didn't kill you.
1824
01:33:16,791 --> 01:33:18,999
Oh, yeah, no, no. There
was no chance of that.
1825
01:33:19,000 --> 01:33:21,500
She, uh, likes me too much.
1826
01:33:22,541 --> 01:33:23,625
What does that mean?
1827
01:33:25,166 --> 01:33:28,124
Uh, I'm gonna need to
ease in to this one.
1828
01:33:28,125 --> 01:33:29,915
That night after
I, uh, I left you
1829
01:33:29,916 --> 01:33:32,332
at the pool, Aunt
Linda was in my room.
1830
01:33:32,333 --> 01:33:34,540
Turns out I come from a
long line of con artists,
1831
01:33:34,541 --> 01:33:36,374
and Aunt Linda was
tired of the hustle.
1832
01:33:36,375 --> 01:33:41,457
She wanted a way out, and she saw
my situation as her retirement plan.
1833
01:33:41,458 --> 01:33:43,540
She showed up
1834
01:33:43,541 --> 01:33:47,582
to blackmail me and
Dante for $20 million.
1835
01:33:47,583 --> 01:33:49,207
Blackmail you for what?
1836
01:33:50,791 --> 01:33:52,707
Uh...
1837
01:33:52,708 --> 01:33:55,540
well, I guess it's not
really a secret to keep
1838
01:33:55,541 --> 01:33:57,915
now that he's dead.
1839
01:33:57,916 --> 01:33:59,707
Um...
1840
01:33:59,708 --> 01:34:01,040
when Dante and I first met,
1841
01:34:01,041 --> 01:34:02,915
you know, he was just
another customer,
1842
01:34:02,916 --> 01:34:04,915
wanted a sympathetic ear.
1843
01:34:04,916 --> 01:34:06,290
Then he kept coming
back, you know?
1844
01:34:06,291 --> 01:34:09,374
He'd tell me stories,
and we became friends.
1845
01:34:09,375 --> 01:34:11,374
And one day, he told me about
1846
01:34:11,375 --> 01:34:14,415
his great love, the one
that he could never be with.
1847
01:34:14,416 --> 01:34:18,207
The one his mom might even kill
him over if she ever found out.
1848
01:34:18,208 --> 01:34:20,000
You know, because
of his last name.
1849
01:34:21,625 --> 01:34:22,666
Bartolo.
1850
01:34:23,250 --> 01:34:24,333
Matteo?
1851
01:34:25,375 --> 01:34:26,958
Yeah.
1852
01:34:28,375 --> 01:34:29,707
Holy shit.
1853
01:34:29,708 --> 01:34:31,457
Yeah, I make a
pretty cute beard.
1854
01:34:31,458 --> 01:34:32,999
You know, they
needed someone flashy
1855
01:34:33,000 --> 01:34:36,874
to draw eyes away from them,
so, you know, there I was.
1856
01:34:36,875 --> 01:34:39,082
Bathroom, 20 seconds.
1857
01:34:39,083 --> 01:34:40,582
Knock twice.
1858
01:35:01,500 --> 01:35:04,332
They've been together for
15 years, nobody knew?
1859
01:35:04,333 --> 01:35:07,624
Yeah. Yeah, it was
just this, you know,
1860
01:35:07,625 --> 01:35:10,124
small, beautiful thing in
a really fucked-up world.
1861
01:35:10,125 --> 01:35:13,790
So he reads you're in jail,
reconnects with you, and...
1862
01:35:13,791 --> 01:35:16,250
'cause... 'cause
you're his way out.
1863
01:35:16,833 --> 01:35:18,999
I was the only
person he ever told.
1864
01:35:19,000 --> 01:35:22,040
So you cut a deal, his
lawyers get you out of jail,
1865
01:35:22,041 --> 01:35:23,457
and he and Matteo... mm.
1866
01:35:23,458 --> 01:35:25,540
Yeah, they can be together
without triggering a Mob war.
1867
01:35:25,541 --> 01:35:28,290
And obviously Aunt Linda didn't
give a shit about any of that.
1868
01:35:28,291 --> 01:35:30,416
The McLandens only
care about money.
1869
01:35:31,000 --> 01:35:32,708
So you told her to
fuck off, obviously.
1870
01:35:33,416 --> 01:35:36,457
But why did she kill Sean before
you'd even turned her down?
1871
01:35:37,791 --> 01:35:40,665
Yeah, I, uh... yeah, I
wondered the same thing
1872
01:35:40,666 --> 01:35:43,290
until Charity showed up
in my room the next day.
1873
01:35:48,583 --> 01:35:52,040
I-I honestly, I couldn't
believe it, you know?
1874
01:35:52,041 --> 01:35:55,040
There she was... this person
that I thought was dead
1875
01:35:55,041 --> 01:35:58,415
or, you know, didn't exist was
just standing in front of me
1876
01:35:58,416 --> 01:36:02,375
like a, like a creepy
Victorian ghost child.
1877
01:36:04,583 --> 01:36:06,874
Linda told me
that I have two sisters
1878
01:36:06,875 --> 01:36:11,665
but that they didn't want me,
and I knew it wasn't true.
1879
01:36:11,666 --> 01:36:14,290
No, that... We didn't know.
1880
01:36:14,291 --> 01:36:18,082
Do you know that
I had no friends
1881
01:36:18,083 --> 01:36:20,124
and that she
schooled me by myself
1882
01:36:20,125 --> 01:36:24,416
and raised me by myself
and I only had them?
1883
01:36:25,000 --> 01:36:28,582
All 'cause Linda needed
my help with her work,
1884
01:36:28,583 --> 01:36:30,707
ever since I was little.
1885
01:36:30,708 --> 01:36:34,082
And I didn't want to
do it, but I had to.
1886
01:36:34,083 --> 01:36:35,875
- Oh.
- So I did.
1887
01:36:37,541 --> 01:36:42,041
But they would help me
so I wasn't so alone.
1888
01:36:42,666 --> 01:36:44,541
They did a good job.
1889
01:36:45,791 --> 01:36:49,416
Linda killed so many people.
1890
01:36:51,000 --> 01:36:52,832
Those poor, poor men.
1891
01:36:52,833 --> 01:36:54,457
And I hated it.
1892
01:36:54,458 --> 01:36:55,790
Um, Charity.
1893
01:36:55,791 --> 01:36:57,582
Until I didn't.
1894
01:36:57,583 --> 01:36:59,958
- What can I do for you now?
- Nothing.
1895
01:37:01,166 --> 01:37:02,666
I just want to see you.
1896
01:37:03,375 --> 01:37:06,874
I always knew that you
would be my savior.
1897
01:37:06,875 --> 01:37:09,749
That both of my sisters
would be my savior
1898
01:37:09,750 --> 01:37:12,832
and I might save you, too.
1899
01:37:12,833 --> 01:37:15,375
But then I heard
that you killed her.
1900
01:37:15,958 --> 01:37:17,958
Why did you kill Faith?
1901
01:37:20,416 --> 01:37:23,332
- Why did you do that?
- Charity, y-you-you need to go.
1902
01:37:23,333 --> 01:37:25,957
Why did you take Faith from
me? I would've kept her.
1903
01:37:25,958 --> 01:37:27,249
Y-You're gonna
destroy everything.
1904
01:37:27,250 --> 01:37:30,082
- I have a plan. I'm gonna fix everything.
- You-you don't need to fix anything.
1905
01:37:30,083 --> 01:37:32,082
I'm gonna fix everything.
I forgive you.
1906
01:37:32,083 --> 01:37:33,415
- I forgive you.
- Okay.
1907
01:37:33,416 --> 01:37:34,499
I won't let you go ever again.
1908
01:37:34,500 --> 01:37:35,624
Yeah, I love you, too.
1909
01:37:35,625 --> 01:37:38,165
Okay. Need to make sure...
1910
01:37:38,166 --> 01:37:39,624
Oh, goddamn it.
1911
01:37:39,625 --> 01:37:41,665
...that we're together always.
1912
01:37:46,041 --> 01:37:47,457
Don't worry.
1913
01:37:47,458 --> 01:37:49,582
I saved you from Sean,
1914
01:37:49,583 --> 01:37:53,666
and tonight I'll save
you from Dante, too.
1915
01:37:54,583 --> 01:37:57,791
Do you know I know the
moment you killed our sister?
1916
01:37:58,916 --> 01:38:04,249
I woke up screaming because
that water was so cold.
1917
01:38:04,250 --> 01:38:06,750
I could feel her pain.
1918
01:38:09,333 --> 01:38:11,875
But I could also feel yours.
1919
01:38:12,541 --> 01:38:13,750
Because...
1920
01:38:15,458 --> 01:38:18,541
...I'm not your sister, I'm you.
1921
01:38:19,750 --> 01:38:21,291
And you're me.
1922
01:38:22,333 --> 01:38:24,124
And we're just one.
1923
01:38:24,125 --> 01:38:29,165
We don't need Dante
or Sean or Stephanie.
1924
01:38:29,166 --> 01:38:31,374
We don't need a woman or a man.
1925
01:38:31,375 --> 01:38:33,249
We just need each other.
1926
01:38:33,250 --> 01:38:37,582
I'm only ever gonna
make you feel good.
1927
01:38:37,583 --> 01:38:39,500
So good.
1928
01:38:40,750 --> 01:38:44,375
So good because it
makes me feel good.
1929
01:38:47,041 --> 01:38:49,749
Do you want to see what I mean?
1930
01:38:49,750 --> 01:38:51,957
Blink if that's okay.
1931
01:38:51,958 --> 01:38:54,874
Yay. We're gonna love this.
1932
01:38:54,875 --> 01:38:57,625
We can feel so good...
1933
01:38:59,083 --> 01:39:01,290
...at the same time.
1934
01:39:10,250 --> 01:39:11,875
Do you love it?
1935
01:39:13,958 --> 01:39:17,124
We're gonna have this forever.
1936
01:39:17,125 --> 01:39:18,833
Always.
1937
01:39:22,625 --> 01:39:25,374
So...
1938
01:39:25,375 --> 01:39:27,750
Charity's a sister-fucker?
1939
01:39:29,500 --> 01:39:30,999
You couldn't wait to
say that, could you?
1940
01:39:31,000 --> 01:39:32,665
I mean, what was I
gonna do, not say it?
1941
01:39:32,666 --> 01:39:34,290
- To you of all people?
- Well, I mean, you know,
1942
01:39:34,291 --> 01:39:36,541
that might be the
definition of too soon.
1943
01:39:37,791 --> 01:39:39,540
Are you okay, by the way?
1944
01:39:39,541 --> 01:39:40,915
Sorry. That was really dark.
1945
01:39:40,916 --> 01:39:42,374
- Oh.
- We kind of skipped over that.
1946
01:39:42,375 --> 01:39:43,665
Thank you for your
concern. Yeah.
1947
01:39:43,666 --> 01:39:44,749
- It happens.
- Well...
1948
01:39:44,750 --> 01:39:45,915
Eh, it never fucking happens.
1949
01:39:45,916 --> 01:39:49,207
Okay, so she locked you up, and you've
just been there this entire time?
1950
01:39:49,208 --> 01:39:52,415
Yeah, you know, she-she drugged
me, put up a "do not disturb" sign,
1951
01:39:52,416 --> 01:39:54,832
and then she went
through with my wedding.
1952
01:39:54,833 --> 01:39:56,624
Honestly, the thing that's
most upsetting to me
1953
01:39:56,625 --> 01:39:58,790
in all of this is that...
1954
01:40:00,625 --> 01:40:03,749
...is that Dante died
thinking that that was me.
1955
01:40:03,750 --> 01:40:05,750
You know, that I'm the
one that killed him.
1956
01:40:07,833 --> 01:40:10,540
Anyway, for some reason, she didn't
show up to drug me this morning, so...
1957
01:40:10,541 --> 01:40:13,999
Yeah, 'cause she was killing an
FBI agent and framing me for it.
1958
01:40:14,000 --> 01:40:15,458
So what do we do now?
1959
01:40:16,166 --> 01:40:18,624
We get Nicky and we get
the fuck out of here.
1960
01:40:18,625 --> 01:40:19,915
That's your plan?
1961
01:40:19,916 --> 01:40:21,332
Yeah.
1962
01:40:21,333 --> 01:40:24,666
Your suggestion is to just keep running
forever with a ten-year-old son?
1963
01:40:26,000 --> 01:40:28,374
I know you brought me here
for revenge or as bait
1964
01:40:28,375 --> 01:40:30,915
or you want to fucking
kill me or something,
1965
01:40:30,916 --> 01:40:34,165
but now the Mafia and the
actual FBI want my head.
1966
01:40:34,166 --> 01:40:36,499
I didn't have to be part of
this. I shouldn't be here.
1967
01:40:36,500 --> 01:40:37,665
You could've just left me alone!
1968
01:40:37,666 --> 01:40:39,874
Why am I part of this?!
Why the fuck am I here?!
1969
01:40:39,875 --> 01:40:43,665
Baby, you think the whole
time that everybody wants to kill you?
1970
01:40:43,666 --> 01:40:45,207
I don't want to kill you.
1971
01:40:45,208 --> 01:40:47,832
All these people want my head.
1972
01:40:47,833 --> 01:40:50,582
You know, and if my plan didn't work
out, which, you know, obviously,
1973
01:40:50,583 --> 01:40:53,165
there was a very good
chance that it didn't,
1974
01:40:53,166 --> 01:40:55,000
I knew that if something
happened to me...
1975
01:40:57,083 --> 01:40:58,875
I'd need to figure it out.
1976
01:40:59,458 --> 01:41:01,540
You're my knight in shining
fucking armor, Stephanie.
1977
01:41:01,541 --> 01:41:03,333
That's why you're here.
1978
01:41:04,583 --> 01:41:05,665
That's nice.
1979
01:41:05,666 --> 01:41:07,165
Well, it's true.
1980
01:41:07,166 --> 01:41:09,999
So, yeah, yeah, you know,
I don't have a better plan.
1981
01:41:10,000 --> 01:41:11,124
I'm all out.
1982
01:41:11,125 --> 01:41:12,457
But you, you always do.
1983
01:41:12,458 --> 01:41:14,916
You're ten steps ahead of
everyone, so what do you got?
1984
01:41:15,500 --> 01:41:17,750
'Cause I am not in the mood
to kill another sister.
1985
01:41:19,416 --> 01:41:21,415
Oh, someone should
stitch that on a pillow.
1986
01:41:22,916 --> 01:41:24,916
Okay. Shit, let me just think.
1987
01:41:25,500 --> 01:41:26,957
Just give me a second.
1988
01:41:29,916 --> 01:41:31,332
Hey, why are you...
Where's your phone?
1989
01:41:31,333 --> 01:41:33,124
Why are you live right now?
1990
01:41:33,125 --> 01:41:35,000
What are you talking about?
1991
01:41:36,875 --> 01:41:38,832
Hello, mothers.
1992
01:41:38,833 --> 01:41:40,790
Emily here.
1993
01:41:40,791 --> 01:41:43,957
I'm sure you're all expecting Stephanie,
but as some of you may have heard,
1994
01:41:43,958 --> 01:41:46,540
she's running from
what she's done,
1995
01:41:46,541 --> 01:41:49,374
and I need to find her now.
1996
01:41:49,375 --> 01:41:51,999
So if any of you happen to
see her, please tell her.
1997
01:41:52,000 --> 01:41:55,165
Stephanie, you're
like family to me.
1998
01:41:55,166 --> 01:41:58,332
And I need my sister back.
1999
01:41:58,333 --> 01:42:00,333
I can still feel you.
2000
01:42:02,166 --> 01:42:03,665
Can you feel me?
2001
01:42:03,666 --> 01:42:05,999
Aw, sister-fucker.
2002
01:42:06,000 --> 01:42:09,249
I must go now, but first,
2003
01:42:09,250 --> 01:42:11,832
say hi, angel.
2004
01:42:11,833 --> 01:42:14,957
My sweet boy, say hi. Say hello.
2005
01:42:14,958 --> 01:42:16,957
Okay, now I'm in the
mood to kill a sister.
2006
01:42:16,958 --> 01:42:19,540
{\an8}He's so sleepy.
2007
01:42:19,541 --> 01:42:23,874
{\an8}He told me that being
away from me felt like
2008
01:42:23,875 --> 01:42:26,000
{\an8}falling off a cliff
into oblivion.
2009
01:42:27,583 --> 01:42:30,249
He's such a sweet boy.
2010
01:42:30,250 --> 01:42:32,999
Okay.
2011
01:42:33,000 --> 01:42:35,332
Time to cut out this
rebellious streak of his.
2012
01:42:35,333 --> 01:42:36,999
We have somewhere to be.
2013
01:42:37,000 --> 01:42:40,083
We hope you'll meet us there.
2014
01:42:41,833 --> 01:42:42,832
Tiberius.
2015
01:42:42,833 --> 01:42:44,165
- Here, take this.
- Okay.
2016
01:42:44,166 --> 01:42:45,333
Come on, let's go.
2017
01:42:45,916 --> 01:42:47,540
And play it cool.
That bitch is crazy.
2018
01:43:09,250 --> 01:43:10,874
Hi.
2019
01:43:10,875 --> 01:43:12,165
This is really fucked up, Linda.
2020
01:43:12,166 --> 01:43:14,082
Oh, he'll never
remember any of this.
2021
01:43:14,083 --> 01:43:17,874
Charity really learned a lot from that
lovely pharmacist we had our time with.
2022
01:43:17,875 --> 01:43:21,165
Her knowledge of chemicals
really changed the game for me.
2023
01:43:21,166 --> 01:43:24,125
Drugs make life so much
easier, don't you think?
2024
01:43:24,791 --> 01:43:27,040
You know I'm gonna kill both of
you for fucking with my kid, right?
2025
01:43:27,041 --> 01:43:29,790
I hate to tell you, Emily, but
Nicky couldn't tell the difference
2026
01:43:29,791 --> 01:43:33,040
between his real mother and her
dead sister, even before the drugs.
2027
01:43:33,041 --> 01:43:34,582
Children are so adaptable.
2028
01:43:34,583 --> 01:43:37,082
And they make perfect
props for con artists.
2029
01:43:37,083 --> 01:43:40,249
I mean, who wouldn't trust a woman
with an adorable child in tow?
2030
01:43:40,250 --> 01:43:42,290
Isn't that what you've been
your whole life, Charity?
2031
01:43:42,291 --> 01:43:43,374
No.
2032
01:43:43,375 --> 01:43:44,707
Just a little prop?
2033
01:43:44,708 --> 01:43:45,999
To make your fake mother money?
2034
01:43:46,000 --> 01:43:47,749
Oh, yeah, poor Charity.
2035
01:43:47,750 --> 01:43:50,665
She really missed out on a
charmed life with old Margaret.
2036
01:43:50,666 --> 01:43:52,707
She could've grown up
in a fucking nuthouse
2037
01:43:52,708 --> 01:43:55,332
with a drug addict and a
murderer as her siblings.
2038
01:43:55,333 --> 01:43:56,875
Oh, eat a cock, Linda.
2039
01:43:57,458 --> 01:43:58,915
What do you want?
2040
01:43:58,916 --> 01:44:00,249
Seriously.
2041
01:44:00,250 --> 01:44:02,207
How do you think the two
of you get out of this?
2042
01:44:02,208 --> 01:44:03,874
The FBI's onto you.
2043
01:44:03,875 --> 01:44:06,125
One of their agents just got
murdered by your daughter.
2044
01:44:07,541 --> 01:44:09,166
Charity, what the fuck?
2045
01:44:09,833 --> 01:44:11,082
Oh, yeah.
2046
01:44:11,083 --> 01:44:12,374
Yeah, and...
2047
01:44:12,375 --> 01:44:15,290
Dante's dead, so are-are you
gonna blackmail a corpse?
2048
01:44:15,291 --> 01:44:17,082
No, my blackmailing
days are over.
2049
01:44:17,083 --> 01:44:18,999
They died with Dante.
2050
01:44:19,000 --> 01:44:22,374
And blackmail's such a Band-Aid
on bigger problems anyway.
2051
01:44:22,375 --> 01:44:25,082
The long-term solutions
are the best ones.
2052
01:44:25,083 --> 01:44:29,000
And the Versanos have so much
more money than $20 million.
2053
01:44:29,708 --> 01:44:31,999
Oh, the... I'm
sorry, that's, uh, that's it?
2054
01:44:32,000 --> 01:44:34,582
That's your plan? You're
gonna steal from the Mob?
2055
01:44:34,583 --> 01:44:36,707
No, I don't have to, darling.
2056
01:44:36,708 --> 01:44:38,249
Charity married Dante.
2057
01:44:38,250 --> 01:44:41,249
And everybody thinks
she's you, Emily.
2058
01:44:41,250 --> 01:44:43,125
She's part of the family.
2059
01:44:46,083 --> 01:44:48,332
His powerful widow Emily.
2060
01:44:48,333 --> 01:44:49,874
She'll take his
place at the top,
2061
01:44:49,875 --> 01:44:52,749
take care of her dear Aunt
Linda and her beloved Nicky,
2062
01:44:52,750 --> 01:44:54,374
and we'll all live
happily ever after.
2063
01:44:54,375 --> 01:44:57,457
Yeah, except, uh,
Portia fucking hates me,
2064
01:44:57,458 --> 01:44:59,915
and she'll never give you
that sort of power, so...
2065
01:44:59,916 --> 01:45:04,332
Well, you'd be amazed what a changed
person you've been since Dante died.
2066
01:45:04,333 --> 01:45:06,290
A totally different woman.
2067
01:45:06,291 --> 01:45:07,790
Mm.
2068
01:45:07,791 --> 01:45:10,165
Whom Portia has
become quite fond of.
2069
01:45:10,166 --> 01:45:12,165
Well, other than the fact
that your insanely jealous
2070
01:45:12,166 --> 01:45:15,332
maid of honor was the
one who killed her son.
2071
01:45:15,333 --> 01:45:17,790
But when you bring
her Stephanie's body
2072
01:45:17,791 --> 01:45:19,999
to prove yourself to the family,
2073
01:45:20,000 --> 01:45:22,041
then all will be forgiven.
2074
01:45:24,375 --> 01:45:25,625
Not bad, huh?
2075
01:45:30,041 --> 01:45:31,999
- It's pretty perfect, Linda...
- Mm-hmm.
2076
01:45:32,000 --> 01:45:34,249
...except for one thing.
2077
01:45:34,250 --> 01:45:36,207
Emily has to die, Charity.
2078
01:45:36,208 --> 01:45:38,874
No, no, Stephanie, only you do.
2079
01:45:40,375 --> 01:45:43,082
Right. Just after Emily.
2080
01:45:43,083 --> 01:45:45,291
- Goodbye, my dear niece.
- No.
2081
01:45:46,416 --> 01:45:48,582
- Only Stephanie.
- What?
2082
01:45:48,583 --> 01:45:50,457
No, Hope doesn't die.
2083
01:45:50,458 --> 01:45:52,625
Charity, what the fuck?
2084
01:45:54,833 --> 01:45:57,124
Only Stephanie.
Hope stays alive.
2085
01:45:57,125 --> 01:45:59,249
Yeah, and how does
that work, nutjob?
2086
01:45:59,250 --> 01:46:02,207
It does. Hope stays
alive with me because
2087
01:46:02,208 --> 01:46:04,165
we are one.
2088
01:46:04,166 --> 01:46:06,540
No, she's right.
Emily can't die.
2089
01:46:06,541 --> 01:46:07,874
It's true.
2090
01:46:07,875 --> 01:46:10,082
Charity and I are meant
to be together always.
2091
01:46:10,083 --> 01:46:12,832
Hey, fuck off and stay
out of this, both of you!
2092
01:46:12,833 --> 01:46:14,832
Charity, do not get
weird on me, not now.
2093
01:46:14,833 --> 01:46:16,582
I'm not letting you
kill my soulmate.
2094
01:46:16,583 --> 01:46:18,624
Jesus Christ, you
only just met her!
2095
01:46:18,625 --> 01:46:20,624
And there can't be two of you.
It doesn't make any sense.
2096
01:46:20,625 --> 01:46:21,999
- There's only one of us.
- You're gonna...
2097
01:46:22,000 --> 01:46:23,540
You're gonna blow
the whole thing.
2098
01:46:23,541 --> 01:46:25,290
Get... No! Fuck!
2099
01:46:25,291 --> 01:46:26,707
- Jesus!
- Go. Go.
2100
01:46:26,708 --> 01:46:27,915
How is this fucking happening?!
2101
01:46:27,916 --> 01:46:29,665
Are you kidding me?!
2102
01:46:29,666 --> 01:46:31,208
Why is this happening?!
2103
01:46:32,250 --> 01:46:35,624
I will kill all three
of you if I have to!
2104
01:46:35,625 --> 01:46:37,082
Goddamn it!
2105
01:46:37,083 --> 01:46:39,082
This plan is foolproof.
2106
01:46:39,083 --> 01:46:43,499
You think it was easy to come up with it
after psycho fuck over here killed Dante?
2107
01:46:43,500 --> 01:46:45,332
No, but I did it!
2108
01:46:45,333 --> 01:46:46,915
And it's a great plan!
2109
01:46:46,916 --> 01:46:49,874
And it's gonna happen right now!
2110
01:46:54,750 --> 01:46:56,540
Stealth mode, bitch!
2111
01:46:56,541 --> 01:46:58,291
No! Charity,
give me the gun!
2112
01:46:58,916 --> 01:46:59,958
No! Charity!
2113
01:47:06,208 --> 01:47:08,457
Oh, shit!
2114
01:47:18,083 --> 01:47:19,875
She'll be okay.
2115
01:47:23,625 --> 01:47:24,708
But not you.
2116
01:47:25,291 --> 01:47:26,415
No, no, no.
2117
01:47:26,416 --> 01:47:27,499
Charity, no.
2118
01:47:27,500 --> 01:47:29,415
Stephanie... Stephanie
doesn't die, okay?
2119
01:47:29,416 --> 01:47:31,250
She has to.
2120
01:47:32,000 --> 01:47:35,040
Because she took you away from
me and she'll do it again.
2121
01:47:35,041 --> 01:47:37,582
And when she hurts
you, she hurts me.
2122
01:47:37,583 --> 01:47:39,832
She hurt me, too.
2123
01:47:39,833 --> 01:47:42,874
No, Stephanie doesn't
hurt people, okay?
2124
01:47:42,875 --> 01:47:45,457
You and I, we-we-we... we do.
2125
01:47:45,458 --> 01:47:49,624
It's what the McLandens do... Margaret,
Linda, my father, Faith, all of us.
2126
01:47:49,625 --> 01:47:52,249
That's-that's why we...
2127
01:47:52,250 --> 01:47:54,166
It's why we belong together.
2128
01:47:54,833 --> 01:47:57,957
It's why we deserve
each other, you know?
2129
01:47:57,958 --> 01:47:59,457
Come here. I missed you.
2130
01:47:59,458 --> 01:48:01,207
Come here.
2131
01:48:12,750 --> 01:48:16,083
Oh, Charity, you
killed so many people.
2132
01:48:18,083 --> 01:48:20,790
I did it all for you.
2133
01:48:20,791 --> 01:48:22,165
You shouldn't have done that.
2134
01:48:22,166 --> 01:48:24,249
That-that wasn't right.
2135
01:48:24,250 --> 01:48:28,125
You know, we can't let
Stephanie pay for that, can we?
2136
01:48:30,375 --> 01:48:31,915
No, we can't.
2137
01:48:31,916 --> 01:48:34,832
I mean, I can't, and-and
you and I, we're one, right?
2138
01:48:34,833 --> 01:48:38,082
So, together we can fix this.
2139
01:48:38,083 --> 01:48:43,207
You know, maybe you can do
something for me, for us.
2140
01:48:43,208 --> 01:48:45,040
For us.
2141
01:48:45,041 --> 01:48:46,833
To make it better.
2142
01:48:47,833 --> 01:48:48,957
Okay.
2143
01:48:48,958 --> 01:48:52,457
I would do anything for us.
2144
01:48:54,958 --> 01:48:56,832
And with us
today is Stephanie Smothers,
2145
01:48:56,833 --> 01:48:58,457
whose book Dying for Love:
2146
01:48:58,458 --> 01:49:02,124
A Killer in Capri is number one on
The New York Times Best Seller list.
2147
01:49:02,125 --> 01:49:04,749
{\an8}It's the follow-up to her
first book The Faceless Blonde,
2148
01:49:04,750 --> 01:49:08,499
{\an8}which has also seen
quite a boost in sales.
2149
01:49:08,500 --> 01:49:09,790
{\an8}It's a pleasure to be here.
2150
01:49:09,791 --> 01:49:13,165
{\an8}Emily Nelson... or Hope
McLanden, I should say...
2151
01:49:13,166 --> 01:49:15,874
{\an8}quite a fascinating
character study.
2152
01:49:15,875 --> 01:49:18,915
{\an8}Yeah. Um, Emily lived a
life stranger than fiction.
2153
01:49:18,916 --> 01:49:22,582
{\an8}I'm just glad that she's back
in custody where she belongs,
2154
01:49:22,583 --> 01:49:24,957
{\an8}and I'm glad I could help
bring her to justice.
2155
01:49:24,958 --> 01:49:26,040
{\an8}Again.
2156
01:49:26,041 --> 01:49:27,957
{\an8}Right. Again.
2157
01:49:27,958 --> 01:49:30,249
{\an8}We'll have
more later on the arrest
2158
01:49:30,250 --> 01:49:32,457
{\an8}and extradition of Emily Nelson
2159
01:49:32,458 --> 01:49:36,874
{\an8}for the bizarre murders of
her ex-husband, new husband,
2160
01:49:36,875 --> 01:49:40,499
{\an8}aunt, mother, and FBI
agent Irene Walker
2161
01:49:40,500 --> 01:49:42,415
{\an8}while on the island of Capri.
2162
01:49:42,416 --> 01:49:46,999
{\an8}Prosecution attorneys say Ms. Nelson
has made a complete confession.
2163
01:49:47,000 --> 01:49:49,540
{\an8}Stephanie, you were
also recently proven
2164
01:49:49,541 --> 01:49:52,207
{\an8}to have been right about
the suspect you identified
2165
01:49:52,208 --> 01:49:56,540
{\an8}in what turned out to be an
international child pornography ring.
2166
01:49:56,541 --> 01:50:01,540
{\an8}I've got to know, how do you go from
shortbread recipes to crime solving?
2167
01:50:01,541 --> 01:50:04,915
{\an8}Um, I think you'll find I'm a woman
who's full of surprises, Jake.
2168
01:50:04,916 --> 01:50:06,999
{\an8}How else could I have ended
up on your wonderful program?
2169
01:50:07,000 --> 01:50:08,915
Oh, honey, you are really
crushing this interview.
2170
01:50:08,916 --> 01:50:11,499
Aw, thank you. You're
getting soft on me.
2171
01:50:11,500 --> 01:50:13,624
No math on an empty
stomach, guys.
2172
01:50:13,625 --> 01:50:15,290
God, my mom's such a dork.
2173
01:50:15,291 --> 01:50:18,332
No way, man. Your
mom's a badass.
2174
01:50:18,333 --> 01:50:19,625
Totally.
2175
01:50:20,666 --> 01:50:22,915
Stephanie, you look
great on television.
2176
01:50:22,916 --> 01:50:24,874
{\an8}Ms. Nelson's lawyers
have abandoned her appeal
2177
01:50:24,875 --> 01:50:27,790
{\an8}in the case of the murder of her
father Stanley and sister Faith.
2178
01:50:27,791 --> 01:50:29,249
{\an8}If convicted, she will be
2179
01:50:29,250 --> 01:50:32,124
{\an8} serving multiple life sentences.
2180
01:50:32,125 --> 01:50:33,415
{\an8}And we'll be right back.
2181
01:50:33,416 --> 01:50:35,999
Jake Tapper could get it.
2182
01:50:36,000 --> 01:50:38,249
- Hello?
- Hey, it's your friend in hiding.
2183
01:50:38,250 --> 01:50:39,625
Yeah, I know. How are you?
2184
01:50:40,250 --> 01:50:42,457
Oh, I'm... you know, I'm okay.
2185
01:50:42,458 --> 01:50:45,040
Better now that
sister-fucker's locked up.
2186
01:50:45,041 --> 01:50:46,832
Uh, I have something to ask you.
2187
01:50:46,833 --> 01:50:49,249
Uh, you know, just
a...
2188
01:50:49,250 --> 01:50:52,165
simple favor for
old times' sake.
2189
01:50:52,166 --> 01:50:53,832
Anything.
2190
01:50:53,833 --> 01:50:57,125
He's never gonna have a decent
childhood with me, so...
2191
01:50:57,791 --> 01:51:00,999
...promise me you'll raise Nicky
so he doesn't grow up like I did.
2192
01:51:01,000 --> 01:51:02,790
You know, until I see him again.
2193
01:51:02,791 --> 01:51:04,790
Yeah, I promise.
2194
01:51:04,791 --> 01:51:06,207
Um, see you around?
2195
01:51:06,208 --> 01:51:08,124
Yeah.
2196
01:51:08,125 --> 01:51:09,832
I'll be keeping an eye on you.
2197
01:51:09,833 --> 01:51:12,374
I'm always hiding in plain
sight, brother-fucker.
2198
01:51:12,375 --> 01:51:14,832
Will you be normal for
once? Just say goodbye.
2199
01:51:14,833 --> 01:51:16,165
I'll talk to you later.
2200
01:52:11,500 --> 01:52:14,083
I know what you did...
2201
01:52:14,750 --> 01:52:15,958
Hope.
2202
01:52:17,625 --> 01:52:20,374
You don't get to be my age
as a woman in this business
2203
01:52:20,375 --> 01:52:21,708
without knowing everything.
2204
01:52:24,833 --> 01:52:27,915
Deep in my heart, I knew...
2205
01:52:27,916 --> 01:52:31,457
you would never
have hurt my Dante.
2206
01:52:31,458 --> 01:52:33,458
I will keep your secret.
2207
01:52:37,791 --> 01:52:39,000
He was...
2208
01:52:40,333 --> 01:52:41,874
He was such a good friend to me.
2209
01:52:41,875 --> 01:52:44,124
I-I really...
2210
01:52:44,125 --> 01:52:45,540
I really loved him.
2211
01:52:45,541 --> 01:52:48,375
I... I did.
2212
01:52:49,000 --> 01:52:51,458
Mm. We all did.
2213
01:52:53,875 --> 01:52:56,625
But my son is still
dead because of you.
2214
01:53:08,500 --> 01:53:13,291
However, I consider you to
be part of the family now.
2215
01:53:14,666 --> 01:53:18,166
And I expect a lot from family.
2216
01:53:19,625 --> 01:53:21,790
So...
2217
01:53:21,791 --> 01:53:26,041
because of this, I have...
2218
01:53:29,958 --> 01:53:32,750
...a simple favor...
2219
01:53:34,916 --> 01:53:36,708
...to ask of you.
2220
01:53:39,541 --> 01:53:41,333
How simple?